Pastor Paul Brown
July 11, 2021 - W2128

When Family Comes First

What Do You Do...

Pastor Paul Brown 

July 10 & 11, 2021

Aloha and Welcome, New Hope Oahu--online and in person! What a pleasure to have you worshipping with us! You may have come to church today to experience God's presence and His healing power! Scripture gives a picture of a woman with an issue of blood, reaching to touch Jesus for healing! So, whatever your need might be, just reach out to Jesus, He is here for you. 

The topic of family is so complicated, isn't it?  There are so many things that happen in a family; for instance, for some, family is a great thing, but for others, family is a dread, a memory of hardship! There are mixed families, estranged families, and single parents--all sorts of dynamics in a family unit.  However, the family is very powerful--it's only in a family that one word or one phrase from one member can change your whole day! The message today is "What Do You Do When Family Comes First?"   

I remember walking on a football field when one of my sisters came up to me said, "Paul, don't get too close to the goal post because if you open your mouth, they might kick a football through it."  She said that because I have a space between my front teeth. But because she's part of my family, this sister brought me from here to here in a matter of seconds!  I also remember when my dad so clearly said to me, "Paul Brown, I am so proud of you."  That word of encouragement also marked me!  So, it doesn't matter your background we must admit that family has either positively or negatively impacted us for life, sociologically.  The family is the smallest sociologic unit; but as the family goes, so goes the whole nation--if the family is healthy, the whole nation is healthy!

Mother Teresa said: "If you want to change the world, go home and love your family." I love this statement because a lot of Christians, including myself, as soon as God said I'm calling you to the ministry, I was like, "All right, Lord, you're calling me out of my family.  Anywhere you want me to go, I'll go--to Africa, Germany, China.  Anywhere, Lord.  I'll go anywhere.  And the Lord said, "Anywhere? Then go home and love your family."  Sometimes it takes the love of God to love our families; but, when we go home and love our families just as they are, the family will be changed in a positive way and become a great force of God's reality on earth! 

Let me share a phrase that I believe is true: "We can change the world when we change our worlds." The family unit was made by God to make the reality of heaven (all His goodness and faithfulness) the reality of the world!  

Genesis 1:28 NIV says: "God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'”

God told Adam and Eve to: (1) be fruitful--increase in number, (2) fill the earth (3) subdue it (rule over fish, birds, and every living creature). When we submit to something that's not under control, we put it under control!  God gave them a cultural mandate to be fruitful, increase, and subdue the things that are not under control and put it under control!   

There was a unified connection between God and man that was very close; but sin came into the garden and started the first blame game... 

Genesis 3:11b-13 NIV says: ^11b "...Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” ¹² The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” ¹³ Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

It's so funny.  God gives us a gift, and as soon as that person does something and we get blamed for it, we say, "He's the one that did it." "It was the serpent that did it."  They were supposed to have subdued the serpent; now, they were subdued by the serpent, and taken out of the garden! Soon after, a murder takes place--Cain kills Abel, his brother--and destruction takes place within the family unit! 

A damaged relationship occurred between God and his people, and we feel the ripple effect even now.  I believe that God wants to do something through you in your family, but I also believe that God wants to do something in you through your family. In the crucible of family, we learn to love and receive love; ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness; be corrected and to correct.  Some of you are patriarchs and matriarchs, standing in the gap and praying every day, and God is transforming you in your hardship! Some of you may be the prodigal that God is transforming!  I believe that when we go home and love our families, we will change the world!  

Usually, after church when you go home and say, "Thank you, Lord, you're so good."  Then someone says something that's reality, and we say, "Lord, how do I put you first in my family?"  There are four ways:  

1. PUT FAMILY FIRST BY LOVING GOD FIRST   

"³⁰ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ ³¹ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself." There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31 NIV

The love of God is not just a feeling--it's the power to love others and be transformed!  

1 John 4:19 NIV says, "We love because he first loved us."  

We love because of the love that was shown us. In fact, I would say that we can't give away love that we have not received; meaning the ability to love others is based on knowing how much we are loved by the King of kings, the Lord of lords. Jesus Christ came 2000 years ago but He is thinking about us now online!  You might be in a different country, but God is thinking about you, too--that's how amazing God's love is!  And now we can love our family members that are not so easy to love!  

My dad was a drill sergeant, so I would never talk back to my mom, but I would do other things! I came home one day with this epiphany: My mom was so upset.  I said, "Mom, God says I'm supposed to obey you." And she said, "What are you talking about?"  "Yes, He said, I'm supposed to obey you, and it's because of His love on the cross that compels me to obey Him and to know Him, that now I get to love and obey my parents."  She said, "Okay. Great.  I've been telling you that for like 30 years!" In that moment, I was transformed from a place of fear to love! It's crucial to love God first because He gives us the power to love the people around us.   

2. PUT FAMILY FIRST BY MASTERING SIN  

The motivation to master sin is to overcome sin in our lives.  Abel and Cain had a conflict, and Cain is about to do something he should not.  

"If you do well, will your face not be cheerful? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.” Genesis 4:7 NASB 

"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord." Acts 3:19 NIV

Paul says two things: Repent and Turn.  "Repent" comes from a Greek word "metanoia."  "Meta" in Greek is to change; "noia" is to think.  So, it's to change the way you think, then turn from your sin back to me, and I will wipe out your sin.  

The reality is that if you're to be changed into the person who will lead into the future, you must become a different person and do the things that God has called you to do.  Certain ways that you think must go!  Alvin Toffler, a sociologist, said the literate of the 21st century will be those who can learn, unlearn, and relearn!  There are certain things that we might have learned that we must unlearn and do what God has called us to do in our families--metanoia our minds. 

3.   PUT FAMILY FIRST BY BREAKING THE CYCLE

We have hereditary characteristics that have been passed down from generation to generation, such as, anger, lust, and jealousy; and we must break that cycle! The definition of cycle is a repetitive thing that happens again and again. The significance of the Cross is that Jesus Christ broke the cycle of sin and death, and we have a different cycle and we became a cycle breaker! 

Matthew 5:38-39 NIV says: "³⁸ You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ ³⁹ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also."

Galatians 2:20 NIV says: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." 

The only way that we can break the hereditary cycle is when we no longer live.  When we say, "I'm not going to follow the ways of my past, my own desires, but I'm going to follow the ways of Christ." I had to work through the reality that I had a propensity to get angry instead of peace. I had to choose in that moment that I would no longer live, but allow Christ to live through me, by asking, "Jesus, would you love my family through me? Would you speak to my family through me?"

4.  PUT FAMILY FIRST BY PRAYING FOR GOD'S WILL IN AND THROUGH THEIR LIVES. 

Luke 22:31-32 NIV says: "³¹ Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. ³² But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

I wish he had said:  Simon, Simon, Satan has asked me to sift you as wheat, but I prayed that he will not sift you.  No, instead, He said in the sifting, "I pray that your faith may not fail."  How many of us have gone through valleys in our lives, and you can testify of the goodness of God? It's a reality that God will allow us to go through difficult times. We hear of testimonies of people saying because they went through the valley and came out the other side their faith did not fail! Could it be that the storm in your life is the storm that will shape your life; if the storm were taken away, you would not be the person that you are meant to be!  

God wants to do something in your family through you; but He's also trying to do something in you through your family!  God is more focused on your transformation than in your destination; your transformation will determine where you arrive! God wants to change you through your family as you love your family.  Change the world around you by fixing your eyes upon Jesus and loving your family as God wants you to love your family!

STUDY QUESTIONS: 

1.     How are you loving God first before anything else?

2.     What are you doing today to help others realize that family comes first?

3.     What challenges are you overcoming within your family?

4.     How are you breaking the cycle in your family?

5.     How are you mastering sin?