Pastor Wayne Cordeiro & Pastor Jesse Tagura
June 28, 2020 - W2026

Fixing Our Relationships

Faith Fixer Upper

Pastor Wayne Cordeiro & Pastor Jesse Tagura

June 27 & 28, 2020 

PASTOR WAYNE CORDEIRO:  Welcome, New Hope Family and Friends! Today, we're continuing our series Faith Fixer Upper from the backyard of our beautiful family farm in Oregon; the topic is Fixing Our Relationships: Family Feuds--something we've heard about or maybe even experienced!   

Where do these feuds come from?  Do they start from major wounds? Actually, they are often caused by small cuts and scrapes that have been unattended, and now they're infected! How many relationships in your life have been hurt because of a minor problem (an untrue rumor, misunderstanding, miscommunication, or misperception) and someone's immaturity that should be a minor problem has a potential to destroy relationships! Remember, that all of us are immature to one level or another and prideful to one level or another. Ironically, we can overcome the biggest battle but die fighting on the smallest hill!  Choose which hill to die on!   

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV says: "¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart...¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Momentary light afflictions will produce a glorious change in us far beyond our comprehension, and if we will learn how to correctly handle the cuts and bruises in our relationships, we'll develop valuable character qualities--the very qualities we will need for the long run.  I often say suffering will change you, but not necessarily for the better--you must choose that!  So, choose God's best for you; then through Him, you can grow through the minor afflictions, rather than allowing them to fester and get infected!

Did you know that God often uses small inconveniences to bring huge growth? For example, those cuts and bruises may be one of God's ways to remind us that our eyes may have been focused too much on ourselves--having to be in control!  God will use small cuts and bruises to snap us back into attention to just be quiet and give Him time to take care of the problem.

Being patient is not one of my greatest virtues, neither is it yours.  We too often let words fly and say the wrong things and compound the problem! We let our pride step in and don't apologize, and now we have two problems! It multiplies from there and our relationships get strained! We keep our wrongs and we let go of what's right! Words can be powerful for good or for bad: 

Proverbs 18:21 NKJV says:  ^"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit."

Notice how powerful words can be--they bring death or life! Often when God wants to check our spiritual health, He checks our tongue--our words! So, how we relate to one another is vital.  

James 3:5-6 NKJV says: "⁵ Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! ⁶ And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue...defiles the whole body and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell." 

It's tough to tame the tongue, isn't it?  But we can keep it in check!  Let's Fix Our Relationships by what we say!

The First Tip:  Practice Expressing Appreciation   

You must practice expressing appreciation because this doesn't come naturally! Romans 12:21 NKJV says: "Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good."

If we're doing wrong or have a bad habit, we just can't say, "I'm going to stop doing that."  No.  The Bible says the only way to neutralize evil is to replace it by actively doing something good!  So, keep expressing appreciation--keep practicing!

If we have a tendency to spout off negative comments all the time, stop it by consciously expressing appreciation; if we're always running people down, stop and just start building somebody up!  You just can't sit back and do nothing! Practice expressing appreciation!   

Proverbs 25:11 NKJV says: "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."

A word fitly spoken is a word spoken in right circumstances! When we use words correctly, the Bible says it's a beautiful setting!  We have the power to express appreciation whenever you see someone doing good. It's so easy to look for the bad in everything; but learn to look for evidences of God's presence--not evidences of His absence! You must practice this--it will not come naturally!

PASTOR JESSE TAGURA:  How is everybody today?  We're on the theme of practicing expressing thankfulness.   

When I was in fourth grade, we met at Farrington High School for church services. I remember listening to Pastor Wayne and even as a nine?year?old, I would be so focused, so tuned in, and so engaged.  And 15 years later, I'm still doing the same thing, sitting where I am watching Pastor Wayne, still tuned in, still engaged. I have so much to be thankful, but I fail to verbalize any of the thankfulness out loud--I'm not thankful enough! To be really honest, as I was just praying, I realized two reasons why I'm not thankful:  

First: I'm not thankful because I realize that what I have in my hand, I am entitled to because I've earned and deserved them--I don't need to be thankful for it. But it's simply not true!  

Second:  I think, collectively, we've all lost our sense of awe! If you can think about, when is the last time you were genuinely awestruck?  It probably wasn't recently.  When we lose our sense of awe, we lose our sense of faithfulness with it.  You see, when we're not thankful and we don't fill our life with thankfulness--we allow something to step in its place, and normally that thing is poisonous and detrimental to our faith!  And when we are not filled with thankfulness, we allow pride, entitlement, selfishness, and bitterness to take over and destroy everything around us--including our relationships!  

I had an important realization that I shouldn't be scared when I lose my job or my source of income; I should really be scared when gratitude leaves my daily life!  Let's look at the story of Cain and Abel to see what happens when we are not thankful:     

Genesis 4:1-10 ESV: "⁴Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.” ² And again, she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a worker of the ground. ³ In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, ⁴ and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, ⁵ but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. ⁶The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? ⁷ If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” ⁸ Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. ⁹ Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” He said, “I do not know; am I my brother's keeper?" ¹⁰ And the Lord said, “What have you done? The voice of your brother's blood is crying to me from the ground."

There are two different offerings in this story: One from Cain and one from Abel.  Abel was a keeper of sheep; Cain was a worker of the ground, so they brought an offering that reflected their labor--Abel brought his livestock and Cain brought fruits and vegetation from the ground.  It's not the offering they brought that it was accepted or rejected.  It's the posture in which they brought their offering.  Abel brought his offering with thankfulness and worship knowing that God gave him everything and he will give God his best in return.  

On the contrary, Cain gave his offering begrudgingly, out of bitterness and selfishness, and God rejected Cain's offering because of a lack of thankfulness. Cain allowed anger and bitterness to take its placement.  Whenever we're angry at God, we hurt the people around us.  

As God steps on the scene and asks Cain a question--it's important to note that when God asks a question, He doesn't want information, but, rather, He's examining the condition of our hearts. When Cain lost a sense of what is sacred, he lost his sense of gratitude and allowed anger to rob him of control, and he easily murdered his brother!   

So, what must we do? I pray that our thankfulness moves us to sacredness. No other world view can compete with the remarkable idea that you and I are wonderfully, brilliantly, beautifully created in the image of God!  Humans are intrinsically valuable.  There is nothing that I can add to you or take away from you that will make you more or less valuable in the eyes of God. People may be hurting, and their story is significant to God.  It's amazing that when the image of God is on someone, there is unbelievable value on that person's life.  The truth is that we will always protect what we find valuable, won't we?  

When we recognize sacredness of something, we will treat it differently!  Some of the Pharisees who tried to trap Jesus asked him about paying taxes to Caesar:

Mark 12:13-17 ESV says: "¹³ And they sent to him some of the Pharisees and some of the Herodians, to trap him in his talk. ¹⁴ And they came and said to him, “Teacher, we know that you are true and do not care about anyone's opinion. For you are not swayed by appearances but truly teach the way of God. Is it lawful to pay taxes to Caesar, or not? Should we pay them, or should we not?” ¹⁵ But, knowing their hypocrisy, he said to them, “Why put me to the test?  Bring me a denarius and let me look at it.” ¹⁶ And they brought one. And he said to them "Whose likeness and inscription is this?” They said to him, “Caesar's.” ¹⁷ Jesus said to them, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's.” And they marveled at him."

Jesus is in a predicament: If he answered "yes," he'd be in support of an impressive government that was overruling and tyrannical over the Jewish people, but if He answered "no," he'd be in rebellion against the Jewish government--either way they would find a way to trap him.  But Jesus is so brilliant in how He answers the people!  

He asked whose image is on the coin. If they said, Caesar's, then give it to Caesar, and give to God the things that are God's.  Makes a lot of sense!  Whose image is on you, and the person next to you?  When we realize that the image of God is placed over someone's life, no matter the skin color, background, or culture, it is inherently valuable and should be honored in the kingdom of God!   

The Second Tip: I Pray That Our Sense of Sacredness Would Move Us to Servanthood  

John 15:12-14 NKJV says: "¹² This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have       loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.           ¹⁴ You are My friends if you do whatever I command you."

You see, we will always sacrifice the things we find most valuable.  My greatest prayer is that we would recognize the value of every person around us and say, "Man, if it's valuable, then I'm going to guard it, watch out for it, and sacrifice my love and time for it!"  

Mother Teresa said: "If you want to change the world, go home and love your family."  In other words, if you want to make a significant impact, all you have to do is love the person next to you.  Our love for God would inspire us to lay down our life for the people next to us. It all begins with thankfulness--moving us to sacredness and servanthood. 

STUDY QUESTIONS:

1. How do feuds begin?  
2. Sometimes what should be a minor problem has a potential to destroy relationships! Has this ever occurred to you? Share an experience and how it was resolved.
3. What is Pastor Wayne's first tip to fix relationships? Practice Expressing ___________.
4. Pastor Jesse said that he prays that our thankfulness moves us __________________