Pastor Wayne Cordeiro
May 24, 2020 - W2021

Overcoming the Giant of Unforgiveness, Part 1

Killing Giants God’s Way

Pastor Wayne Cordeiro

May 23 & 24, 2020

We are continuing our series Killing Giants God’s Way. Today’s message is Overcoming the Giant of Unforgiveness, Part 1; next week we'll continue with Part 2. This is not an easy battle to overcome because wired into every one of us is the need to defend, right a wrong, or fight when threatened.  Even the movies have injustices that need to be made right, that deals with revenge or righting a wrong. Forgiveness doesn’t sell tickets—but unforgiveness does!

Forgiveness does not come easily or naturally to any of us—but it can be learned! Today, I want to show you the magnitude and power of forgiveness because your future and eternity depends on it. We’ve all felt the pain of betrayal when unkind words were spoken against us; or we have endured false accusations, or a spouse walked out on us, or a business partner took off with all the clients and money, or a parent who is supposed to support and protect, abandons, abuses or violates you!

Today, we will visit someone in the Bible that The Giant of Unforgiveness destroyed and many around him—it’s a tragic story of Absalom, one of King David’s sons.

King David had many sons, the best known was Solomon; among the others were Absalom, a warrior, and a beautiful sister named Tamar.  On the other side of King David’s vast land holdings was a half-brother named Amnon.  Amnon saw Tamar and he was obsessed with her beauty and, through deception, he tricks Tamar into entering his private tent and takes her by force and violates her. When it’s over, he casts her out of his tent!

In that culture, no man would ever marry a woman that had been sexually abused or violated; so, if Amnon wouldn’t have her, Tamar would be doomed to a life of shame and loneliness. So, Tamar flees home; and her brother Absalom sees her distress and asks what happened?  Tamar tells Absalom what Amnon did; and Absalom decides to handle the matter himself.  This is where the seed of unforgiveness and resentment germinated for two years, leaking acid into every area of his life!

One day an opportunity to take revenge came for Absalom when all the royal family gathered for a sheep shearing festival, and Absalom ordered his men to strike Amnon and kill him!  Done.  An eye for an eye!  

This act started a lifetime of resentment and mistrust for Absalom. He is afraid of David’s reprimand and decides to kill him, his own father!  That’s what unforgiveness does:  It leaks acid into every area of life, and you do not know in which direction the acid will flow and affect.  

Absalom’s attempt on his father’s life fails and he is tragically killed in the end.  Before we make the same mistake of unforgiveness, let’s learn from Absalom’s error and find out where we can get the power to forgive. 

1. THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS

Hebrews 12:15 NIV says: “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

It is interesting that the Bible refers to “bitter root.”  Normally, you don't see a root—it’s underground; but, if a bitter root is kept alive, it will only grow deeper. Though it’s invisible, bitter root always bears bitter fruit!

Years ago, as a youth pastor, we took the high school students to Clark Creek for a week at a time.  Our water source was a mountain stream where we'd scoop water for drinking and cooking.  Since this was a state camp, a forest ranger would come on Mondays and test the water to ensure that the bacteria count was at an acceptable level for drinking.

After drinking the water all week, the forest ranger came and tested the water and suddenly said, “Stop, don't drink this water!”  I said, "Ah, too late. We've been drinking it all week.” He said, "Well, don't drink it until I get back," he warned us and disappeared. Two hours later he returns and says, “Okay, you can drink the water now.”   

I asked, “Could you give us a hint as to why we couldn’t drink it before?” He said, When I got to the source of the stream where the water comes out of the mountain, I found a dead deer, and the carcass was lodged between two rocks in the middle of the stream.”  

Like the dead deer in the stream, decomposing and contaminating everything downstream, that is what unforgiveness does!  Is it time you take a trek in your past and get rid of the deer that died a while ago and remove it?  One of the rocks preventing the flow of life is called resentment, and the other is unforgiveness; and wedged between the rocks is a bitter root. It contaminates!

The word "resentment" comes from two Latin words "re” and “sento.”   "Re" means "again" and "sento" means "to cut again and again.” Every time you rehearse the injustice done to you, you expose your heart to be cut again and again! That’s resentment!

Matthew 18:21-22 NKJV says: “²¹ Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” ²² Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”

Jesus is saying a 70 times seven forgiveness is one that continues forgiving until the pain of that injustice no longer exists! It’s a process and doesn’t always happen at once. Let’s say someone cuts your arm with a pocketknife—at first you wrap it up and keep people from bumping into it because it hurts.  But after a while, it starts to heal, and it doesn’t hurt any more.  That’s what 70-times-seven kind of forgiveness does.  You may have a scar when it’s done, but healing has taken place and it doesn’t hurt any more, even when someone bumps it! But without forgiveness, that time never comes!

We live in a pretty evil world and we are not immune from people injuring us, intentionally or unintentionally. Forgiveness plays a vital role in the harmony of our life, and the sooner we forgive, the better!

Let’s say I give you a $100 bill.  You grab it, and as soon as you do, I get a lighter and set it on fire!  The flames start eating the $100 bill and starts to burn your hand!  So, I say to you, “Let go of it!”

You say, “No way.  It’s mine.  Ow.  That hurts!”

Finally, it engulfs your hand, and you say, “You burned my hand!” 

I say, “No, I didn’t burn your hand.  You did.  You burnt your own hand when you refused to let go.”  

Sometimes we encounter situations that we cannot change, and we must give it to God!  We must let go!  But when we insist on controlling the situation or punishing the person, we hang on to, and it will burn us!  Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die!

2. FORGIVENESS HEALS

God promises to heal, but you decide how long it will take. Forgiveness does not mean that something never happened or to downplay sin.  Forgiveness is to keep us free from that person’s sin and the deadly toxin excreted from the root of bitterness.  Forgiveness is not because the other person deserves it, but that your future and your family deserve it!

The good thing is that you do not have to do this alone.  When Jesus was on the cross, He said, “Father, forgive them.”  When He forgave, the forgiveness was not for them alone, but for you and for me.  Why?  Had He held resentments against His accusers, He would not have been the perfect sinless sacrifice that was required to redeem your sins and mine.  He was doing it for us!

Romans 8:11 NIV says: “And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you” 

The same spirit that empowered Jesus on the cross is the same spirit that's in you. His power is available. There's no valley so deep where His power is not deeper still.

One of the powerful prayers is Matthew 6:12 LB: “… and forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.”

When God forgives us, we should in direct proportion forgive others. It will come by realizing the magnitude of His sacrifice for us. When you realize the price Jesus paid, it changes your heart, it emboldens you, and something happens on the inside. The more you see Jesus, and the more you realize what He has done for you, it changes your heart!

God will take the responsibility to right things that only He can resolve because it will kill us if we try.   He bankrupted heaven to incentivize us so that we would stay holy in an unholy world.  Even when things seem hopelessly lost, He reminds us that we will find far greater treasures in our future than what we’ve lost in our past—He'll guarantee that because He has paid our entry fee into eternity with His blood for the forgiveness of sins.

Maybe it's time for us to check our mountain streams and see what we need to remove that’s wedged between the rocks of resentment and unforgiveness.  Forgiveness is a gift for us more than for anyone else!

STUDY QUESTIONS

1. What are some of the rocks of resentment and unforgiveness that have a hold on you?

2. What is a resentment that you have held for a long time?

3. Name time(s) when you have resolved something by forgiving.

4. How did it make you feel?