Pastor Jon Burgess
August 25, 2019 - W1934

Speak to One Another

Our One Anothers

Pastor Jon Burgess

August 24 & 25, 2019

Welcome, New Hope! As we continueOur One Anothers series, we will see that the manner in which we speak encourages and builds up or tears down and destroys our relationships!

Proverbs 18:21 NIV says: "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." 

Proverbs 25:11 NASB says: "Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances."

That means everything coming out of our mouth will be either an apple of gold or an apple of mold! Our lives will look like one or the other, depending on what is coming out of our mouth!  None of us would put out a bowl of bad apples—but what comes out of our mouth very often looks like that.   

Here's a good rule of thumb: If it tastes bad coming out of your mouth because of how you said it, it will taste bad for those you're speaking it to. All of us have been called (according to Scripture) to speak life to one another—and that's exactly what we'll be talking about today.   

Jen Au is one of our brand new interns and one of our volunteers here at New Hope.  Jen shared that she's been actively asking God for a word for people she interacts with at Life Change and Y&YA: "God, how can I speak life into these people?”  She found that the more she asked God, the more He gave her apples of gold (words you need to hear) in settings of silver (at the right time).  It’s like when someone speaks a word to you and it's exactly what you needed to hear exactly when you needed to hear it! 

Jen and her family have been attending New Hope since 2005, but she just started to serve last August because she wanted more experience in media and video editing; then she simply emailed the media team and stopped in one day in the middle of a shoot, and was welcomed with open arms!  After being with the media team for a few months, she thought, “Why not join Y&YA, specifically, to serve girls in high school and to be there for the them and invest in their future as, sometimes, they may have no hope! I want to be a leader who brings God's hope, and show them the amazing things He has done in my life—that He would do the same for them!” 

I have watched Jen speaking into the lives of our young people, who are inundated with negative messages (piles of moldy, rotten lies), a false culture that tries to tear them down. It is awesome to see those like Jen speaking life into the youth, reflecting what Jesus wants to do with every generation in each circumstance. 

God teaches us the language of unity, love, and humility that comes through the way we speak with each other.  In the same way that He speaks life over us, He speaks life to us so He can speak life through us. Learn this truth. 

A UCLA research team in Communications came up with the following statistics:  Only 7 percent is verbal communication; 38 percent is the tone of voice; and 55 percent is body language. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "What you do speaks so loud, I can't hear what you say," meaning that sometimes our verbal language contradicts our body language—they actually say the exact opposite! So the primary way we communicate to each other isn't even our words…  

1. Speak Without Saying A Word: Body Language 

Paul is about to give us a few clues about how we can ensure that the body language of our church actually matches the language of our faith…

Ephesians 4:2-7 NIV says, “² Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. ³ Make every effort (in Greek is spoudazo, to give all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to put your blood, sweat, and tears in it), to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.  ⁴ There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called;  ⁵ one Lord, one faith, one baptism; ⁶ one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. ⁷ But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.”

To bear up (lift each other) one another, means to suffer with each other.  We're supposed to suffer with one another, not make each other suffer—not to tear down each other.  Our body language has to match the prayer of our Lord Jesus Christ:  “that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.  May they also be in us that the world may believe that you have sent me,” John 17:21 NIV. 

Jesus prayed that we would be one, so why are we fighting and at odds with each other?  Could it be that the world hears our verbal language but sees in our body language—church members fighting each other?  Jesus says that our unity (the unified body of Christ, our body language) is the proof that Jesus was sent. This is the reason we, at New Hope, can have unity within a group so diverse as ours—because unity doesn't come through uniformity but by grace! Jesus prayed that we be unified but it can only be done with and through Jesus.  

A recent survey shows 77 percent of Americans perceive the nation is more divided today than ever before; some would say we haven't been this divided since the Civil War.  I can't think of a better time for the Body of Christ to be a united people than in such a divided nation. We don't have to agree with each other on everything—this is not about seeing eye-to-eye, but seeing heart-to-heart!  We can be at odds with a brother or sister in Christ, but we go to Jesus who shows us how to walk into a place of unity with those whom we disagree.

Have you noticed that in our culture today disagreement breed hatred that's been politicized and hyperbolized?  We are living off the fires that are thrown onto every single story from our headlines—so that no one knows how to talk to each other in a civil manner anymore.  This is the perfect time for the body language of the body of Christ matches the language of scripture! 

2. Speak Sooner Than Later:  Love Language

Ephesians 4:15 NIV says: “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”

It's not just truth, it's not just love—but it's speaking the truth in love! Speaking the truth in love is telling people “I love you enough to be able to say something you don't want to hear.”  Warren Wiersbe puts it this way, "Truth without love is brutality, and love without truth is hypocrisy."  Love language includes truth and love together! 

Ephesians 4:25-27 NIV says, “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor for we are all members of one body. In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold.” 

Paul says that we must speak up sooner than later because the longer we wait to address an issue, the more likely it will take root, giving the devil a foothold! 

The word foothold in Greek is topos, where we get our word topography or maps. Whenever anger or lying is unaddressed, the enemy is waiting for it to take root! The more often we lie, the easier it is to do it again.  God is saying, “Don't give the enemy an inch.”  Don't wait until tomorrow—anger and lie will continue to brew and grow! Give the devil an inch and he'll take a mile; give him just a little bit of room in your thought life and he will take over.  He will never be satisfied with just a little bit of your life, he wants all of it!

We lie too much!  A recent survey shows that 60 percent of those in the United States cannot be in a 10-minute conversation without lying at least once—we are passing this down to our children, who are learning from us that lying is okay!  Sometimes in the name of love we lie but the language of love requires us to involve truth at all times! If we say that we're okay with a lie every now and then, people wouldn’t trust anything we say!   

There is a direct connection between lying and anger:  Lies grow in the fertile soil of un-confessed and unaddressed anger.

Think about it.  The man is angry because his wife isn't giving him the attention that he feels he deserves, so he begins to lie to her about what he's doing after he gets off work.  The wife grows angry recognizing distance between her and her husband, and out of that she begins to lie to herself that she’s not drinking too much wine—even though she's drowning her sorrows in alcohol.   

A son sees both parents and their estrangement, and out of his anger at being completely ignored (in this scenario), he begins to lie to his parents about what he and his friends are doing and the drugs he’s experimenting with.  

3. Speak Forgiveness:  A Foreign Language 

Ephesians 4:29-32 NIV says: “²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” 

The right word fitly spoken is how we turn the rotten words that stick with us into apples of gold in settings of silver.  We will speak life into people.  Forgiveness is my breakthrough.  I had to forgive those who hurt me, I had to forgive myself, and I had to ask my parents to forgive me for lying to them.  When we speak forgiveness, we are learning a foreign language because forgiveness is not our native tongue. 

In a world whose primary language is hatred and vengeance, how important is it that you and I learn the language of forgiveness? It doesn't come naturally, but forgiveness is a work of God in our hearts.  It’s supernatural.  

When the truth of forgiveness is spoken to each other, it moves us from the rotten fruit to the fresh fruit in our words. Be the first to say, “I’m sorry.”  Do not wait for the other person to apologize first.   

Here's why all of this is important:  Matthew 12:34b NKJV says, “…for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” If our body language does not match our faith language, we will not be able to speak the language of love—so we must first learn the foreign language of forgiveness!  Examine yourself and ask God to help you forgive and be redeemed and restored!  

This week, I’m flying up to Bend, Oregon, to help with my uncle's funeral.  My uncle made some choices that left his wife and three children with scars, and wounded all of us as he deserted his family and took up with another woman.  A few years ago, he struggled with cancer, and in a few months his life began to deteriorate.  Each one of his children had a choice to just let him die, or to speak the language of forgiveness to him.  A week before he passed, he had asked my mom and his children for forgiveness, as he made his heart right with God. 

If out of the heart the mouth speaks, then if what came from our mouths isn’t like Jesus, it's because we need Jesus to our heart!  If Jesus owns our heart, then what comes out of our mouths will match what He says. Praise God! 

QUESTIONS TO PONDER:

1.      How does wholesome talk encourage your family, friends, and children?
2.      How are the three expressions of communication important in sharing the love you have for Jesus, and your family and friends?
3.      What are some of the devil’s lies you need to address, confess, and repent?
4.      Who owns your heart?  What is the evidence?