Pator Wayne Cordeiro and Pastor Jon Burgess
August 7, 2016 - W1632

Did you know that all through the Bible we meet children who stray? In fact, it started with the very first children Adam and Eve, and who they were went straight to their babies, Cain and Abel.  They broke the rules, they rebelled, and ultimately committed murder.  And that was just the first set of children for humankind.

Sometimes kids stray because of a lack of discipline or parental control, but not always because when you think about it, even the most perfect father has rebellious children. That's us.  Just ask yourself a simple question:  Haven't I gone astray from my parents or from God when I was growing up?  Sure, we all have.  The reality is that all of us have strayed from our heavenly father.  But here's the good news.  God has always provided a way for us to find our way back to him.

You see, our heavenly father not only makes sure that there's a way home. He also leaves the light on for us.  Then he goes the extra mile by coming out and looking for us.  Just like the father did with the prodigal son, so does the Lord's eyes seek after us day and night waiting for us to come back home to Him.

Now, here is a critical question for parents: Have you prepared a way back home for your children who've strayed? We may not be able to control the free choices of our children.  We will give them all the counsel that we can.  We'll give them all the advice and even the discipline, but in the end, they're going to make their own choices.  And if we learn from God and how He deals with His straying children, we can make sure that there will always be a pathway home for our children to find their way back.

A beautiful example of a child who strayed is told in the book of Luke in the story of the Prodigal Son:

“Jesus continued: ‘There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, “Father, give me my share of the estate.” So he divided his property between them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses, he said, “How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.” So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.’” (Luke 15:11-20)

His father had created a good foundation. He did everything he could, to support his son's decisions, and it was put into his son's heart early on. You see, the father could not control his son or his decision for the future that he made.  Because his son was of age, he couldn't control his choices.  But notice that even when the son left, the father didn't run after him.  He knew that his son would have to find that within himself.  Sooner or later he'd have to make that decision.  So instead of dictating what he should do, the father simply prepared a pathway so that his son could find his way back home when he did come to his senses.

And just how did this prodigal son's father do that? Well, by early on modeling love, fairness, and compassion at home and by pouring these things into his son at an early age so that when he came to the cross roads, he'd have something from which to draw.  And because of that, his son was able to say, “I know now what I'm doing, and this time I've decided to go home.  I'm going to talk to my dad, and I'm going to tell him that I realize I messed up.”  He knew he could always go home.

The best book on parenting is the Bible. Actually, there's no better book on any subject or any topic than the Bible. It's the best because it contains unchanging, nonnegotiable, eternal principles of God.

Someone once said it this way: Methods are many.  Principles are few.  Methods always change.  Principles never do.  And that's what is in the Bible.  So always, wherever you go, come back to the Word of God.

So how does the Bible tell us to lay that strong foundation beforehand so that a rebellious child would want to come back home? Let me give you three principles that we can follow in raising our children, and always remember, it's never too late. 

Remember, as the old saying goes, you can teach what you know, but ultimately we're going to reproduce what we are. Just like eye color or physical looks, we reproduce in our kids sort of what we are, and that goes for the thing we believe and the things that we do.  Those are the most important things that we'll be passing on.  And you, you're the first and foremost model your children will ever see, and as their parent, you're the primary person your children will look to for guidance on almost any subject.  Your life will become their textbook for how to live.  Kids won't follow our instructions as much as they will follow our convictions.

Parents, remember, make this your goal in life: Dads, be a good husband and a great father. Moms, be a good wife and a great mother.  Everything else is secondary when you think about it because we all have various goals and purposes and objectives that we want to achieve.  However, let this be your greatest goal above all other goals.  God will honor you because He delights in you prioritizing relationships over money or real estate or position.  Work hard to maintain a great family because no amount of success in the marketplace will ever make up for failure at home.

Discipline can be defined as setting parameters that will give direction towards a preferred future. Of course, children push back when they bump up against those boundaries. However, what I've found is this:

Children are not opposed to authority as much as they're opposed to inconsistent authority, in other words, we live one way and preach something else, or we tell them do as I say but not as I do. That's a hard package to sell, but it's even a harder package for our kids to buy.

Let's get practical on how you can leave the light on, so let me give you three principles:

1. Watch and pray.

   These two go together. Pray like crazy and then watch for signs of their return and any tendency towards leaning towards home.

   See, the father in the Prodigal Son story kept watching and praying expectantly, and when the son returned, why the father was right there to meet him. So keep checking the horizon for any glimpse of the wayward one returning home.

   For example, there might come a time when that child will just call to say, “Hi." That's a glimmer of hope. Watch for it. When you see it, take the initiative to reach out and say, "Let's get together. Just want to see how you're doing." See, what you're doing is you're learning to shine a light on the pathway home for your child.

2. Pray for Godly Influencers.

   The second principle is to pray for Godly influencers to enter your child's life. To my wayward child, I may not be their favorite counselor or adviser right now, anyway. He doesn't want to hear anything I have to say. That's why it's important for you to pray for Godly influencers to be around them in their workplace or among their friends or even in their various sports activities.

3. The ultimate goal is for the salvation with Christ.

   Our ultimate goal for our child, our prodigal, is not getting them to repent or ask for forgiveness or come back home on their knees. No. The ultimate goal is for their salvation with Christ. See, when their hearts are changed, they will have an inner self?monitoring system that's now being guided by the Holy Spirit Himself. Only Christ can truly change hearts, and that should be the greatest hope for every parent.

   Their eternal life is more important than their success in life. You see, that is our greatest hope for our kids. As we sum all of this up, remember this: Even the most perfect Father has wayward children, but He's never given up on us. It may have taken years, but we returned. Prodigals can return. So don't give up on your straying child. Don't think that since they've wandered, they're gone forever. No. Remember that the ultimate goal is their salvation. Even if they don't find their way home to you, pray that they'll find their way home to God.

   So don't give up. It's not over until God takes us home to be with Him in Heaven, so there's much yet that we can do. And the question is not if I could only change my past. No. The real question is: How can I live better from this point onward? You're not done yet. There's much that you can do. So let God come alongside you and help you with your kids, especially when they stray.

    

   Pastor Jon Burgess:

   Maybe you're having a hard time holding onto hope anymore for your wayward child.

   I just want to remind you of one of God's promises. If you’re feeling like it's taking way too long, you've prayed and you've prayed and you feel like it's never going to happen, take this to heart. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise as some understand slowness. Instead, He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish but everyone to come to repentance.

   That is why we need to be reminded that God is contending for the future of our children even more than we are, that we're not having to talk our heavenly father into helping us out.

   4. We need to respond to God's daily discipline.

   God's pace is different for ours. He calls us to respond to daily discipline because Pastor Wayne was talking about leaving the light on. Well, we can't leave the light on if the light isn't on in us. We can't hope to have our children responding to God's discipline if we aren't responding to God's discipline.

   Hebrews 12:6 says that God disciplines those that He loves. Your Father loves you, and it's because He loves you that right now there is something He's asking to discipline you in. There's a place of sin or rebellion in your life that you are resisting Him on. It's not until you're willing to walk up this mountain with Him, however long it's going to take that you will be saved. I'm encouraging you, it's going to be worth the journey, but you have to receive the discipline along the way.

   In Deut. 6:5-9 it says:

   “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.”

   So unless you respond to God's daily discipline, it could be that God's word is hidden, but no one else around you is actually seeing you living it. How do we live out God's word? By responding to God's daily discipline. He's calling us to a point of repentance tonight.

   God is not going to say it's okay that you sinned because you had lousy kids. When you and I stand before the Lord one day, He's going to ask: "Did you respond to my word in your life? Did you respond to my conviction in your life?" We can't use anybody else as an excuse. We cannot blame our parents. Rather, every single one of us is going to be accountable for this moment right here.

   So will you respond to His daily discipline? Will you admit your sin? The impact of your choice in this moment right here will affect generations if you will humble yourself to the daily discipline of the Father tonight.

   Questions:

1. What are some of the reasons why children go astray?

2. When your children go astray what must you do as parents?

3. Why is it important to show love and compassion when your child went astray?

4. What are four things we can do to leave the light on for our children?

5. What does discipline in our life have to do with our children?