Pastor Richard Waialeale
January 18, 2015 - W1503

The importance of Small Groups is that it builds relationships. Pastor Randy Frazee in San Antonio Oak Hills Church authored a book entitled, “The Connecting Church”. In this book he wrote about his son who was born with a missing left hand. A Sunday school teacher unintentionally started teaching the children the familiar hand rhyme “here is the church, here is the steeple, open the doors and here are the people.” Before she remembered Randy’s son at the back of the room, she turned to him and saw Randy’s best friend sitting with him, offering his hand and saying, “Come on let’s do this together.”

 That’s what small groups are all about. The church was not meant to be a church of one person, the church is about the body of Christ. We are going to be talking about small groups and about how we can all be People Builders and all about building relationships.

 The Bible says,

 “Love is kind.” (1 Corinthians 13:4b)

 It’s like the Aloha Spirit. But the Phillips Translation says it this way:

 “Love looks for a way of being constructive.” (1 Corinthians 13:4b Phillips)

 Love looks for a way of improving someone else’s life. It builds people up. In Roman’s it says:

 “We should consider the good of our neighbor and build up his character.”

(Romans 15:2 Phillips)

 How do we do that? How do we help build people up? Every day we are surrounded by people; when we sit in church, when we go to work, when we go to market. People are there. I am going to present to you 4 principles, right out of the Bible, on how to become a people builder. The main thing is to remember, as we read in Corinthians, we need to be filled with kindness. Being kind is giving people what they need. Most of the time it’s so simple to just give people what they need at that time.

 There’s a funny story about a man who walked into a Lutheran church. He asked the minister if he would perform a funeral for his dog which just passed away.

 The minister said “I’m sorry but the Lutheran Church doesn’t do funerals for pets, but there is a Baptist Church down the street which will do anything.”

 The man said, “Oh ok. I was wondering though, I am offering an honorarium of $10,000 do you think that is enough?”

 The minister then said, “Oh you didn’t say that the dog was a Lutheran.”

 Sometimes kindness is giving people what they need and not what they actually deserve. So here are the 4 principles to follow to become a people builder.

 1) We start by giving them a Personal Challenge

 Ephesians says:

“I urge you to live your life worthy of the calling you have received.” (Ephesians 4:1)

In this scripture, Paul is telling the people of Ephesus to make their life count. He is saying to them to be all that God made you to be. Why? Because is brings out the best in us, it strengthens us.

 In the late 40’s to early 50’s the Green Bay Packers were not the strong team they are today. It wasn’t until the arrival of Coach Vince Lombardi that they started to improve. He was a people builder and he did this by giving the team a personal challenge to be the best they can be.

 There’s more to life than just living for ourselves, there has to be a purpose. God didn’t just put us on earth to take up space. He puts people in front of us to help bring out the best in them, to build them up. We are here to be what God wants us to be to someone else. Listen to what it says in Peter:

 “God has given each of you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other, passing onto others many kinds of blessings.” (1 Peter 4:10 LB)

 We pass on the blessings of God to others. It is the number one calling of the church. We can be a people builder by challenging others to be the best they were meant to be.

 A Missionary to the Dominican Republic and his companions were asked by the people they were ministering to if they could leave all their old and unwanted clothes for them to use. As he placed his old clothes in the pile, he began to think, “Why should I leave behind my unwanted clothes?” so he left behind his good clothes that he originally was going to wear back home. People stared at him at the airport because he wore old and worn clothes, but inside of him he felt good because he gave the best of what he could give. He gave of his best.

 Barbara Bush once said, “Cherish your human connections, your relationships with friends and family.” Become a people builder by giving of your best and by giving them a personal challenge to be the best they can be also.

 2) The next point is to give people Complete Confidence.

 In the book of Roman’s it says:

 “We who are strong in the faith ought to help the weak in order to build them up in the faith.” (Romans 15:2 GN)

 We all need confidence, don’t we? How do we build confidence in others? We do it by encouraging them, when we are encouraged we feel good, so do the people we encounter.

 My granddaughter was learning how to play volleyball and one day tried to teach my wife, her grandmother how to play also. But grandma was awkward and my granddaughter started scolding her. “No, grandma, not like that, like THIS”. She was very demanding. I told her she needs to be more encouraging otherwise grandma won’t want to play. So my granddaughter understood quickly, “That was GREAT grandma”.

 See, whenever we label someone, we need to reinforce them. Don’t criticize them because of who they are, but encourage them to be who they can be. Build them up.

 I read an article once about a man and his dog. He taught his dog to pick up the newspaper by giving him a treat. To his shock the next morning, there was a pile of the neighbor’s newspapers sitting around the dog who was wagging his tail proudly! Point is, you never know how far it will go when you give people some encouragement. Let’s read what it says in Thessalonians:

 “Encourage one another and build each other up.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

 This is the power of affirmation. Ken Blanchard wrote in his book “One Minute Manager” “Catch someone doing something right and tell them.” William Arthur Ward said, “Flatter me and I may not believe you, criticize me and I may not like you, ignore me and I may not forgive you, encourage me and I will not forget you.”

 A world famous fashion photographer, at age 16 bought his first camera. Edward

Steichen took 50 shots and only one really turned out. It was a photo of his sister posing next to a piano. His father said it was a total loss, but his mother insisted that even though it was the only photo it was the most beautiful photo she ever saw. Her encouragement more than compensated for the loss of the other 49 photos and made Edward successful today.

 The vision to spot excellence in the midst of a lot of failure has a potential to bring out the complete confidence in others. Here is what the Bible says:

 “I am sure of this: that God who started a good work in you, will carry it on until it is finished …” (Philippians 1:6 GN)

 3) The third point to becoming a people builder is to give Honest Counsel.

 There’s no progress without learning and there is no learning without honest feedback. We all need people who will lay it on the line for us, be honest with us and give us occasional correction.

 I used to pastor at New Hope South Shore. Every Sunday after the service, as people fellowship over lunch, I visit with the people. One Sunday I spoke to a lady as she waited for her Handicap Van. She told me that I gave a really good message and I mistakenly said, “Oh it was the Holy Spirit”. She promptly tapped me on my chest with her cane and said, “Oh NO, if it were the Holy Spirit it would be much better.” Proverbs says,

 “People learn from one another as iron sharpens iron.” (Proverbs 27:17 GN)

 It also says:

 “An honest answer is the sign of a true friendship.” (Proverbs 24:6 GN)

 A real friend won’t hold back the truth, he’ll be honest with you and correct you, even if it’s too painful to hear. Proverbs goes on to say:

 “A true friend means well even when it hurts you.” (Proverbs 27:6)

 Correction which is done right helps build up people, but correction done badly will scar a person’s life forever. What is the right way or the wrong way to correct people? It all depends on the attitude you project. It says it all here in Ephesians:

 “Speak the truth in love …” (Ephesians 4:15)

 If we are going to correct someone, do it in love. Tell them “Know that I love you when I say this…” Then correct them with love. And praise them when they do right.

 John Wooden, UCLA baseball coach often taught his team by demonstrating the proper way of doing what needed to be done. He never criticized them or chastised them. The focus was on improvement not punishment. Our focus is on affirmation, correcting the behavior, speaking the truth in love and honest counsel.

 4) The final people building trait is to give the person Full Credit.

 When we give someone full credit, we praise them in their growth and the changes they have made. That helps to build them up. The book of Romans puts it this way:

 “Let us all have real warm affection for each other … and a willingness to let others have the full credit.” (Romans 12:10)

 I saw a sign once that said: “God can do great things through the person who doesn’t care who gets the credit”. God says the mark of maturity is how quickly we can share the growth. You see, when we help people win, we win. When we help people succeed, we succeed.

 Urban Meyer, Coach of the Ohio State football team, the 2015 Collegiate National Champions, upon being handed the microphone after being congratulated promptly gave credit to the players and to the other coaches. The University of Oregon Heisman Trophy winning Quarterback also gave credit to the other players support, to the teachings of the coaches, and the support of the parents. These two sportsmen gave full credit of their successes to everyone else.

 When we give people a personal challenge to do their best, encouraging them and giving them credit, we are helping to build them up. We are helping to develop their character to do the best they were meant to be. We become people builders. That’s what small groups are all about, we help each other through encouragement and challenges and building that relationship to help others build character through correction and credit. Just like it says in Hebrews, our calling is to praise God for all He did for us by helping each other in love and kindness.

 “In response to all that God has done for us, let us outdo each other in being helpful and kind to each other.” (Hebrews 10:24 LB)

 Join a small group.

 1) How can you help someone in your life who needs encouragement?

 2) What is your personal challenge to help you do your best?

 3) Why is it important to be a part of a small group?

 4) How has God helped you overcome things to make you the person God wants you to be?