Pastor Wayne Cordeiro
October 19, 2014 - W1442

What God requires for the church is a deeper commitment, a more faithful kind of love.

 Romans 12:2, says it this way, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

 There are two ways to know God:

1. Start with what man believes and reason upward. This will never work because no matter how much you reason you can never arrive at God’s best for you, or 

2. Start with what God says and accept His ways. Let Him reveal to you the whys behind it.

DEFINING LOVE CORRECTLY MEANS DEFINING LOVE BIBLICALLY

What does the Bible say about love? Let’s read it in I Corinthians 13:4-8, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.  Love never fails.”

Love is not a feeling. Here it is in one sentence: To gain a love that never fails, your love must grow more than it is right now.  We must choose either to be like the world and become susceptible and vulnerable or choose to make changes according to God’s word and grow.  Love will either grow or mutate, depending on your choices.

Unfailing love does not come automatically packaged when you’re born. A child has a potential of love but that love has to grow in order to sustain him when he is faced with challenges as an adult.  The love I had for Anna when I said, “I love you” at the altar 40 years ago is different from what it is today, after surviving three aggressively hostile children.  The love of a romantic evening is nice but it’s not enough to sustain the weight of marriage when faced with the darkest of nights. 

The love that you express to God when He blesses you must grow to become the love you need when it seems He has taken everything away from you. This unfailing love will take you to the place of inheritance that God wants—even for this church. 

For Job, when everything was taken away from him he still loved God enough to say, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust him.” That’s an amazing love and that kind of love does not start in the beginning.  It has to grow into that.  The love that I had when I was a youth pastor when I played ball with the kids and gone to movies with them, I would say, “I love the ministry” is a different kind of love today when times are down and I want to cash it all in.  The love that I had there would not sustain me for what the Lord has for me here.  Love has to grow or it can get mutated.  So you ask, “How does love grow?”  Let me give you two ways that will help you. 

1. LOVE ONLY GROWS WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO LOVE. Love is an action, a choice. The Bible says, “Love is patient.” Patience, is that a feeling or a choice? “Love is kind.” Is that a feeling or a choice? “Love does not get jealous.” Is that a nice feeling or a choice? Again and again he will delineate to us that the only way love grows is by choice. “Love does not boast and is not proud.” Is that a feeling or a choice? “Love does not dishonor.” Is that a feeling or a choice? “Love is not self-seeking or is not easily angered.” Is that a feeling or a choice?

In weightlifting one must go beyond the breaking point, when your muscles fatigue and you feel you can’t go on any longer. Only then are you breaking down old muscle tissues and replacing them with stronger, more vibrant ones. 

There will be times when you must make a choice to love and to do it Biblically. For instance when you are in a bad mood and you want to get angry but you decide against it or when people mistreat and don’t like you but you decide to love them anyway, God is saying, “Now your love is maturing” because love only grows when you make a choice.

The future that God desires for us, as a church and individually, will require a far greater kind of love because He knows the obstacles we will be facing. He says you must build love now or you will fail miserably later.  Remember, love only grows when you choose to love.  When was the last time you chose to be patient when you didn’t want to?  Not be jealous or proud or boastful?  It’s easier to go the other way but when you make a choice to obey God, you’re building love.  Have you been building love lately?

God wants us to be successful and do well, so He gives us opportunities to clear wrongs that will build love and not destroy us. Not many men can survive success.  It goes to our heads, it ruins our marriages, our children, etc. but in order for God to give us success, He has to build in us a far deeper, mature love, a love that will sustain us in the future and love only grows when you choose to love.   Here is another characteristic of love:

2. LOVE ONLY GROWS WHEN WE CHOOSE TO FORGIVE.

“Love keeps no record of wrongs…” (1 Cor. 13:5)

The Bible says love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. Love goes wrong when we keep a record of wrongs on the inside. What I have discovered is sin is sin and it is destructive whether it’s my sin or someone else’s.   The wages of sin is death. We can be clean of our own sin but if we are carrying somebody else’s sin, it is sin. 

What happens when you can’t get rid of a sin that happened years ago because someone hurt you? You may be holding it in your heart and even though it wasn’t your fault, you can still be walking in their sin because sin is sin until you completely eradicate it from your heart.   Just forgive and wish them well if not, you are walking in sin.  It doesn’t matter whether it’s yours or theirs—you’re still walking in sin.

A woman that I had been counseling as a pastor had for years been carrying an unhealthy attitude in her heart. After the divorce, whenever she talked about her ex-husband, this attitude would leak out in her comments.  She would say, “You don’t know what he did to me.”  I said, “You’re still walking in sin.”  She said, “Don’t you tell me that.”  I said, “It doesn’t matter if it’s his sin you are still carrying—sin is still sin.   There is only one person who can carry someone else’s sin and not kill him and that’s the Messiah, Jesus.  We are not designed to walk with sin.”

There is a health craze that says, you are what you eat, but SPIRITUALLY, YOU ARE WHAT EATS YOU.  Many times we hold things against people not because of what they did, but what they should have done and we walk in sin—their sin, not ours. 

John 20:23 says, “If you forgive the sins of any, their sins have been forgiven. If you retain the sins of any, they have been retained”by whom?  You.  That’s why forgiveness is so critical.  It’s a gift for you not for them.  Forgiveness frees you. 

Here’s a test: Who are the three people you must forgive?

1. Parents.  You must forgive your parents.  You might say, “You don’t know what my dad did to me.”  You can’t control people.  If you try to, it will kill you.  You will walk in his sin.  Is that what you want?  If you retain his sin, that sin is retained in you.  If the only thing they did for you was to give you life, you should be thankful that you can hear about Jesus Christ and that’s enough.  Go back in your mind and heart to your parents whether they are alive or dead and forgive them and say to them, “I forgive you and I wish you well.”  If you cannot forgive your parents you will never grow out of being a child.  If you are 55 years old and your dad is dead, you are still trying to please him in your mind and you’re still living for your dad.  You will never stop being a child if you never forgive and wish them well.   That cleans your record.  You might ask, “Why should I clear my record when it’s their fault and they don’t deserve forgiveness?”  God says forgiveness is not for them it’s for you, so you can keep building love.  If you carry this fault, you are walking in sin because sin is sin and the destructive results are the same. 

2. Relatives.  Regardless of what your relatives did, you must be able to say, “I forgive you and wish you well.”  Only then you will be able to attain the future God has for you. 

3. Everybody else. Everybody else because your future and development of love are critical for love to grow.  Love keeps no record of wrongs.  Do you want your love to be built in such a way that God can entrust to you the inheritance He has for your future and plans for this church?   Then the nice love you have now won’t be strong until you grow in love, so we must choose to forgive.  When was the last time you chose to love when you didn’t want to?  When you do, God is saying, “Now you are building love.”

Love is malleable, pliable, and susceptible. It can go bad, worldly, or godly.  It is your choice.  God has so much for your life and He knows about your marriage and He knows what you are about to face.  He knows the depth and maturity of love you will need to withstand, and forgiveness is a big part.  Just forgive everybody and wish them well, regardless of what they have done.  Then God says, “Now you are building love.”  It’s not about your comfort.  God allowed things that happened because love has to grow. If you are not challenged, your love will never grow.

In church we choose to love others. Do you know why churches implode?  It’s because people take their immature love into the church and when it’s challenged they say, “That’s it.  This church is challenging my love.”  They are actually saying I don’t want my love to grow.  I want everything to submit to my love.  Do you know what completely diminishes and impedes growth and disqualifies us from anything greater?  It is our unwillingness to let our love grow.  Actually, our love is perfect but it needs to grow; just like a young apple, it is not ripe and sweet yet, but it is perfect for this stage, but not perfect for the harvest.

God looks at us and says, “Your love is perfect for now, but not for the harvest—it still needs to grow.” Protect your love, do not be disobedient to God’s Word.”

Remember love only grows when we choose to love and forgive, then we will hear God say, “Now you are building love.”

STUDY QUESTIONS:

1. What causes love to go bad?

2. When does love grow?

3. Who should we forgive and why?

4. Memorize I Corinthians 13:4-8.