Having and maintaining healthy relationships is important because we are the body of Christ.  Although we are individuals, we all play an important role that helps the body run.  When relationships are unhealthy, it affects the body.  Just as in our physical bodies, if the heart stops beating, the rest of the body is affected.  All parts of the body are equally important and should work together in harmony.

Unhealthy relationships should not be tolerated because it is like a disease.  Once brokenness, bitterness, and anger infiltrate relationships, it can cause relationships to get sick; just as a disease to the body.  Just as in the human body, the body of Christ can suffer from the disease of unhealthy relationships.  The Apostle Paul stresses the importance of healthy and encouraging relationships, he says,

“If therefore there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion … make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose” (Phil. 2:1-2).

We need to have strong healthy, resilient relationships; relationships that build and encourage one another up. There are diseases and stressors in this world. When stress and negativity built up, it can make relationships sick.  In our physical bodies, stress can break down our immune system and cause harm to our bodies.  Just like in our relationships the bacteria of anger, sin, anxiety and judgment can cause our relationships to break.  We must not tolerate broken relationships.

Jesus gave us the gift of forgiveness, by sacrificing His life for us.  His blood that was shed was meant to repair relationships, so sin does not proliferate through the body of Christ.  Having healthy relationships is important.

Jesus says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,  leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift (Matthew 5:23-24). Jesus’ point is that healthy relationships are more important that going to church.  Jesus wants us to take care of our relationships.

One thing to remember is:

1.   IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU!

The Apostle Paul describes the importance of humility, he writes,

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Phil. 2:3-4).

Humility of the mind is when you regard others as more important than yourself. Do not let events define your life; let your life and identity in Christ define events.  With humility it is easier to offer forgiveness.  Forgiveness is not a gift for the other person.  It is a gift for you. Your forgiveness of others heals you.

To have humility, you must,

· WORK HARD ON YOUR ATTITUDE.

Your attitude is the way you perceive things.   Jesus says, “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.  But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”(Matthew 6:22-23) Your attitude is the lamp of your body.  Attitude is critical to relationships.  

Paul writes, “Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped…” (Phil 2:5-6).

· YOUR ATTITUDE IS CONNECTED TO YOUR HEART.

You need to be careful of your attitude because it is connected to your heart.  If your attitude is bad, you will have a bad heart.  If your attitude is judgmental you will have a judgmental heart.  Your attitude has a direct relationship to your heart.

The Psalmist says, “Teach me Your way, Oh Lord; I will walk in Your truth. Unite my heart to fear Your name. I will give thanks to You with all my heart…” (Ps. 86:11-12).

To get your heart and attitude right, it takes hard work.  You need to view things with the truth; not demoting the truth to see things the way you want it.  Ask god to change your perspective to view things with the truth and become more like Him.

God will send you afflictions to help you work on your attitude.  It will be your adversaries that will cause you to pray more, dig into the Word deeper, and seek God with a whole heart. Adversaries can either break you, or they can cause you to become the best you can be.  It is your choice to let it change you for the better or worse.   You can choose to forgive and be healed.  Forgiveness heals and protects you so sin does not grow in you.  Forgiveness protects you from blaming others for the suffering you are in. Having a good attitude will keep your eye clear and your body will be filled with light.

On the cross, in Calvary, Jesus suffered and died so that you can have life.  Christ’s suffering ended in death.  In our life you will go through many deaths, with friends and finances, but we need to go back to the cross and remember that death results in life because of the relationship that you have with Christ.  During suffering is when you cry out to God and draw near to him. Suffering will change you – but not necessarily for the better.  You have to choose to be better.

2. JESUS’ SUFFERING RESULTED IN DEATH IN ORDER

THAT OUR DEATHS WOULD RESULT IN ___LIFE_____!

Paul explains Christ’s suffering, he writes,

“… but emptied Himself, taking on the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of man, and being found in the appearance of a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Phil. 2:7-8).

Jesus died to bring life.  In His suffering He showed humility and obedience.  His suffering resulted in death that brings you life. That life will be challenged by hardships caused by others, but the gift of forgiveness will help free you from the bacteria of sin around you.  Working hard and developing a good attitude will help protect you from being bitter and blaming others.

For example Joseph was left for dead and then sold into slavery by his brothers.  With a heart of forgiveness, Joseph said, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result …” (Gen. 50:20).

What was intended to be evil for Joseph, God meant for Good. Joseph’s brothers’ sin towards him ultimately brought good for Joseph and the nation of Israel, during the time of great famine.

We are reminded in Romans 8:28, “For he will work all things together for good to those that love God and are called according to his purpose”.

Forgiveness is a gift for you.  Forgiveness is not for those who harmed you; it is for you.    Forgiveness will heal you and protect you from the sin that wants to harm the body.  Maintain healthy relationships; do not tolerate broken relationships.  Forgive and work hard on your attitude, to protect yourself and to heal from sin.  In life there will be suffering and death, Jesus shed His blood and gave the gift of forgiveness. Choose to forgive and maintain healthy relationships.  Do not tolerate broken relationships that can destroy the body.

Discussion Questions:

1. What is the start of unhealthy relationships?
2. What is tolerating unhealthy relationships, and why should we avoid it?
3. Why is forgiveness a gift?
4. What is being humble of mind?
5. How do you work hard on your attitude?  Why is it important?