Today we are going to talk about building our futures. Do you know that every single one of us in this church has a future ahead of us? It could be counted in days, months, or years. Regardless of how long it’s going to be, every single one of us has a future. That’s why we are calling it blueprint or future. It is a gift from God. Think of the futures that we have in this room. Think of the potentialities, the possibilities, the dreams and all the imaginings of our futures combined and accumulated together. There’s enough future in this place to do everything that God wants us to do as a church.

Your future is a gift from God. But what you make of your future is going to be your gift to God. And one of the most important building blocks of your future is not how you relate to your finances, or job, (it’s going to be found as one of the most important places) it is how you relate to your family. You miss that, you miss the future. Now if you really want to know who I am, don’t ask me or my boss or my friends, ask my wife. Interview my family; because that is that complex integrated unit, that grouping of people that live so closely committed to another.

So today we are going to be talking about God’s blueprint for our family and it is titled, “A Family Affair”. Each of us needs to understand this because we are all going to become part of a family. I recalled Barbara Bush saying, “The future of America is not going to be determined by what is happening at the White House; it will be determined by what is happening at your house.” Moreover the Republican platform says: Foremost of all the institutions is the American family. It is the foundation of our society and the first level of self-government.

However in the last 20 years we’ve been in a family values vacuum. We are in a permissive society, where anything goes. And now, look around. We are reaping the consequences of that. Did you know that every 30 seconds there is a divorce in America? There is an attack on the family. Every fourth child is born to a single mother. US News reports that one half of Americans support gay marriages. There have been 50 million abortions since Roe vs. Wade. And we are having our kids grow up in a fatherless nation. So although we espouse family values we don’t see them. 83% of youth suicides come from fatherless homes (5 times the average); and 90% of homeless runaway children come from fatherless homes (32 times the average); 80% of rapists come from fatherless homes (14 times the average); 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (9 times the average); And 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes (20 times the average).

Although you always hear people espousing family values, not everyone lives them. So whose family values are you going to follow? Is there really an ideal family? The answer is no; there is no ideal family. Some people will say that they come from a bad family and their kids are prodigal kids. Does this mean that they are disqualified from their future? The answer is God loves prodigals. Indeed the Bible is filled with prodigals. And even the most perfect father has rebellious children. Consequently you need to look at family as long-term investment. It’s like stocks which go up and down. You have to look at it as a long-term investment and not worry about the small dips.

Today we are going to talk about four groups of people: Family Veterans, (like grandfathers and grandmothers), those that are married, children, and the rest of the family.

Each of us will have three families. For the family veterans you have:

1. Past: The family of birth. Each of you came from a parent. For grandparents your role is to influence the next generation as a patriarch or matriarch. You need to be looking out for the next generation’s spiritual fitness.

The Bible says, "Now this is the commandment the Lord your God has commanded me to teach you... so that you, and your son, and your grandson might fear the Lord your God" (Deut. 6:1-2).

The future is not determined by the cards you have in your hand but by how well you play them. We need to understand that we all will get hurt, but don’t let that hurt take you hostage. Granted some of you have come from pasts where you have been neglected, rejected, used, and abused. Some have been helped by your past but some have been hindered, and some have been deeply hurt.

All of us will have been dealt a hand of cards and you get to play them. You don’t have a choice in what hand that God is going to deal you. But you can play them well because your future is not going to be determined by the cards you have in your hand. It’s how you play them. So we need to understand that we will be hurt, but it’s all right. Just don’t let the hurt from your past take you hostage. Because if you do, you are tethered to yesterday and your potential for tomorrow is squandered. But you might ask, “How do I do it?” You can assign any role to your past that you want to. It can stalk you or it can be a companion to you. It can destroy you or it can deliver you. It could be a torturer to you or it could be a teacher to you. It could be a menace or it could be a maestro. You assign the role to your own past. It’s not what happens to you; it’s what defines you that can mess you up. So define it well so that God can use it.

In my own life God put me in a tough family with a Master Sergeant father who was very strict and he disciplined us in the army style. As a result, this discipline prepared me for the life ahead of me. It was like God knew the future that I was to walk and the assignment that I was to have. And God in all His wisdom knew that the only way I could get discipline in me was to put me under this Master Sergeant father. It was tough, but it built something in me so that when God told me, “This is what I called you to do, Wayne.” I was able to do it and stick with it. I could have perceived it poorly and been a pessimist. But I decided to use it as fuel in my tank in order to serve God. So I decided to make my past a mentor to me and not a menace that will destroy me. You have got to decide what you can learn from the past. One of the greatest victories with your life is when you can make peace with your past and move on.

2. Present: Your Family at Home.

This is for parents and children. There are specific benefits:

The Bible says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother'" (Eph. 6:1-2). Children should take it from the Lord, think it through and honor (give it weight to) what their parents are saying to them. The benefit is "This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long on the earth.” (Eph. 6:3).

The future does not belong to the well-meaning people but to those who understand discipline. The word discipline comes from the word disciple. If you miss discipline in your home you will miss it in your marriage, in your job, and your relationships. You need to be able to handle the dips in your marriage. And if you fail to become disciplined you will remain foolish. As the Bible says, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him” (Prov. 22:15).

If you don’t drive foolishness out, you will be 40 and you will still make foolish decisions. That’s why the Bible says, “For those whom the Lord loves, He disciplines them. "   (Heb. 12:6)

If you feel entitled rather than disciplined, you will ask, “What are you getting from the task at hand?” Discipline asks, "What am I becoming through this?"

For the former, all you get is a job that makes you truncated, whereas the latter opens up doors. That is why you can never get more than you’ve got until you become more than you are; because discipline is the same as discipleship.

Now there is a big difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline is Biblical and punishment is not. Therefore, punishment is motivated by anger and focuses on a past misdeed. Discipline is motivated by love and focuses on future character. That is why parents must discipline their kids so that they will not ruin their marriage, family, job and in the process ruin their future.

Now the rod of discipline does not mean just a rod. It means to disciple someone. So children take heed of discipline for it will shape your future. And stay close to the feet of the older generation for they will teach you many wonderful things about life.

Lesson: Build your future well.

Take the time to build your future well. Because whatever you build in your home right now, if you shortcut discipline and cut corners you are hurting your future. It’s the keys to your future.

3. Future: Your Eternal Family.

Did you know that you have a third family?

The Bible says, "He [Jesus] replied to him, 'Who is My mother, and who are My brothers?' Pointing to His disciples, He said, 'Here are My mother and My brothers. Whoever does the will of My Father is My brother and sister and mother'" (Matt. 12:48-50).

Your home church is a part of your eternal family. And how we live and breathe and how we relate to this family is very important to our future. It is so important that Jesus gives a new commandment:

“A new commandment give I unto you that you love one another even as I have loved you. By this shall all men know that you are My disciples” (John 13:34-35).

If you don’t understand how God loves you, then you will have a really funky love for one another. You will have a performance oriented love, a guilty love, and an insecure love. That’s why God says I want you to know me, because the more you know my love for you the clearer, the cleaner, the more accurate, and gracious your love will be one for another.

The way we love one another reveals the extent to which we understand God’s love for us. Or do you portray a weird love that is selfish or maneuvering or manipulative or guilt bearing or a low quality of love? That is why it is so important to get God’s love through the church, through devotions, so that you will know how God loves you. And that’s the best thing you can do for your spouse when you know how much He loves you because you will transfer this love to her

Likewise here in this church you are going to be a gatekeeper sometimes, a mediator, cheerleader, prayer warrior, supporter, investor, mentor, and peacemaker. So you are going to have to love people in that quality. And then you begin to develop a full orbit of love for one another. But if you always start picking at one another’s scabs and thinking that’s ok, then God is saying no; and He wants to remind you of what happened to Paul on the road to Damascus where He knocks him off his horse and blinds him. Then He says, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” So it is when you persecute the church, Jesus says that you are doing it to Him. Why are you gossiping against Him? For the church is called the bride of Christ. And so, if you are persecuting His bride, you are persecuting Him.

Loving His bride shows your love for the bridegroom. The Bible says, “That which you do to the least of my brethren is that which you do unto me.” (Mat. 25:40) In other words, that which you do to the least of Christ’s brethren, (Christian people) is what you do unto Him. Consequently you love God only as much as the one you love the least. That’s the true measure of your love vertically. So when you forgive that means your love for Jesus is growing.

The way we love one another reveals the extent of how much we understand God’s love for us. Loving His bride shows your love for the bridegroom.

Lesson: We need each other to be complete.

We don’t like it but that is just part of family discipline.

Questions:

1. Why is it important how you relate to your family?

2. What are the consequences when a family follows the ways of a permissive society?

3. Why should you view a family as a long term investment?

4. Why should a child be disciplined?

5. Why did God say, “That which you do to the least of my brethren, is that which you do unto me.”?