Today our societal values have been diminished.  If you take a look at our current news and events, extramarital affairs and sexual indecency of public leaders and figures are plastered all over the media.  When people are polled about their leader’s personal life, they don’t care because people feel that it does not affect that leader’s professional life. People think that they can segregate their private life from their public life.  But actually, things that are done in a person’s personal life also affect other areas of their life. Today Godly values are missing and are being diluted. 

And when values of the family erode, it affects society.  Carl Zimmerman, a Harvard sociologist, found the correlation that when the values of a society deteriorate, civilization declines.  He did his study on civilizations of the past.  It is important to look at history and learn so that we don’t repeat the same mistake.

Not learning from history has resulted in dysfunctional families.  Everyone has some sort of dysfunction. It is not only limited to families that are divorced or abusive.  Dysfunction has a grip on families that are whole and intact, and on people that are single. Joshua from the Bible had a solution to dysfunction. He said, "Now, therefore, fear the Lord and...put away the gods which your fathers served beyond the River... [Choose] for yourselves today whom you will serve...but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Josh. 24:14-15) Joshua was making a point that we need to choose.

God has set up values and structures for us.  It is our responsibility to make the choice to choose what God has set up for us. Why? Because of what dysfunction really is …

Dysfunction: not functioning AS GOD INTENDED.

Dysfunction comes in many ways.  We need to identify them and change because dysfunctional families create more dysfunctional families.  The home is where we learn values.  God has set aside values for us which are to love, respect, honor and obey.

In order to follow God’s values we must:

1. Take RESPONSIBILITY.

Cain did not take responsibility for his situation and feelings so "Then the Lord said to Cain, 'Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.'" (Gen. 4:6-7)

Cain had a responsibility but he did not take responsibility for his sin or managing his anger. Instead, he lashed out at Abel and killed him. We need to control our response when we feel wronged.  When we blame other people or circumstances for our dysfunction we are not taking responsibility for ourselves. We might feel wronged, but we need to control our response to the wrong that was committed against us. 

On the other hand, David did take responsibility. "David said to God, 'I have sinned greatly, in that I have done this thing. But now, please take away the iniquity of Your servant, for I have done very foolishly.'" (1 Chr. 21:8) David took responsibility for his sins. He acknowledged and he repented. He didn’t blame another person.  But usually we tend to blame others for our dysfunction.  There is an innate tendency to play the blame game. But we need to take responsibility and stop playing the blame game. So …

Quit blaming ONE ANOTHER.

And …

Quit blaming GOD.

If we look at the first family, we see the blame game.  God instructed Adam not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. When God confronted him, he blamed Eve and even God. "The man said, 'The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.'" (Gen. 3:12)

When God questioned Eve, she blamed the serpent. As the Bible says, "Then the Lord God said to the woman, 'What is this you have done?' And the woman said, 'The serpent deceived me, and I ate.'" (Gen. 3:13) While there is a real spiritual battle going on, it is ultimately our choice to obey God. The devil can tempt us but it is for us to choose whom we will follow. So …

Quit blaming THE DEVIL.

In order to follow God we should also …

2. Set BOUNDARIES and CONSEQUENCES.

God set up boundaries for us.  Living a life of tolerance does not mean that there are no boundaries.  Freedom does not mean you can do whatever you want.  Freedom means to live within the boundaries of freedom that God has intended.  God has a hope and future for us.  We need to live within the boundaries that he has set up for us. Without boundaries and consequences there is chaos. So "...it is stupid to hate correction." (Prov. 12:1 NLT) Heeding correction in your life will lessen the chaos in your life and "If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding." (Prov. 15:32 NLT) And no matter what happens …

3. Stay FAITHFUL.

Life will let you down and people will let you down.  There will be circumstances that are extremely hard and difficult, but always keep the faith.  God will always be there and He is always faithful to you. As the Bible says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 4:6-7) So guard your hearts and God will give you a peace the rest of the world will not understand. Remember, to change the nation around, we need to change our families around.

1. What are the values that God set forth for our families?
2. What causes dysfunction?
3. Why is playing the blame game pointless?
4. What are some areas that we need to examine our values in our lives?