Pastor Elwin Ahu
June 5, 2011 - W1123

Do you see yourself in one of the scenes here? The three scenarios in our skit gave us an overview what real families go through daily. First scenario, a mother was busy going through her laundry basket. While rushing her with a daughter from one activity to another. Then the mother was complaining about things concerning the daughter not doing things for her. Her daughter wanted to tell her something but mother rush her to get dress for basketball game. Their lives were very busy and full of discontentment. Next scenario, a teenage daughter comes in the room while her mother was reading. She begs her mother of how she was entitled to have a certain thing that everyone of her friends have. Her parents are not giving into her request for their reasons. She rants and raves and drives her mother crazy. The mother doesn’t give in. Third scenario, a college age son comes upon his father reading the newspaper in his favorite chair in their living room. The son was trying to talk to his father. He was relating to him how his advisor at school told him how to communicate with each other. He was trying hard to clear up the issues of communication with his father but the father didn’t get. He had his own way of communicating. Do you see any similarities to your family?

Our society is confused of what the definition of what a real family means. What do we mean? Who is our model? According to the statistics in New York Times, we don’t have the original biological families that we had before anymore. Today we have too many variations. We allow the various little gods in our lives define our families. In the various scenarios in our skit, we saw the god of discontent, entitlement and expectations. We worship at the altar of busyness and kneel down to please others. This also happened at the time of Joshua.

Let us read the first Bible verse…

Now, therefore, fear the Lord and...put away the gods which your fathers served beyond the River... [Choose] for yourselves today whom you will serve...but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Josh. 24:14-15)

America has the best educational system in the world, but we still have crime, homelessness, economic downfall and other social issues. What is happening to our world is at the very foundation of our nation which is being knock down.

Fill in the main point…

As the FAMILY goes, so does the NATION.

Families are the foundation of our country. As we look at what’s going on with our nation’s problems, we have to look at what is happening with our families. Our families are confused at what they are expected to be. Nowadays families are defined by many things. In the beginning, God gave Adam and Eve an assignment as the first family. God told the families to take care of everything He has given to them then and also now.

Let us read the next verses…

"Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground." (Gen. 1:28 NLT)

.We need to also develop Godly values to get our family in the right place. We need to invest in our families.

Fill in the first point…

1. Invest in TIME together.

When young people were surveyed, they said that dinner time with their parents and family were very important to them. According to Los Angeles Police department I have spoken to, when they surveyed local gangs about what were important to them. They said eating together at the dinner table with family. Good quality time is very important. A heart to heart quality time is even better to do with your families. At dinner time you need to turn off the television and no reading of newspaper. Just have a heart to heart conversation with each family member.

Let us read the next scriptures….

"And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands ... Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up." (Deut. 6:6-7 NLT)
"Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." (Prov. 22:6 NIV)

"I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. Job 42:3-4

2. COMMUNICATE.

Lack of communication is the reason of why marriages ends up in divorce. Communication is very important. How we say things to each other is very important. We need to watch out what we say to each other as couples or as parents.

Let us read…

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." (James 1:19 NIV)

When we communicate with each other as families or as parents or spouses, we should consider these following disciplines….

Fill in the next bullet…

o Be THERE.

First, what this means is we have to be there at moment. We need to have eye to eye contact. We need to give special attention to our family members. We can’t be doing something else when we are with them. We need to pay attention to them.

o Be THE EXAMPLE.

Next, we have a saying here at New Hope which is “ More is caught than taught.” Our children follow are examples. We have to watch out how we talk and walk. Children are like sponges. They do what they see. When teenagers were surveyed, thirty-nine percent only said they wanted to be like their parents. What does our children see us do that they don’t want to be like us?

o Be WISE.

Let us read the next Scriptures…

"Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble." (Prov. 21:23 NLT)

Finally, we need to be wise in what we say. We can’t be attacking a person. We need to be wise in how we say things. For women, we don’t keep records of your spouse. For husbands, don’t be sarcastic with your wives. This situation can also happens with your children. Don’t be attacking them as person. Don’t keep records of their wrongs. Don’t be sarcastic with them. In regards to our families, we need to be careful in how we say things to them. In the end, don’t lose respect. No matter what happens, don’t lose respect.

3. Be courageous: GOD first.

With all the influences in the world that affect families, it takes courage to put God first. When families put God first, it takes courage. Even though friends mock you, it is very important to put God first.

Let us read our last Scripture….

"Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in His commands. Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in their houses, and their righteousness endures forever." (Ps. 112:1-3 NIV)

In conclusion, we, as families, need to better our family units by establishing godly family values. We need to be good examples to our children. Righteousness should fill our families. We need to have the hearts of families towards God.

Discussion Suggestions:

1. How do you spend time with your family?

2. Does your family have open communications with each other?

3. Define what a family is.

4. What kind of family are you in?

5. Share how you communicate with your family.

6. What things have you learned from this message that you want to work on for your

family?