Pastor Elwin Ahu
February 20, 2011 - W1108

We live in a world that is moving at electron speed. Electronics and computers create a virtual world that is so prevalent in our day-to-day lives.  Kids can play basketball with out stepping outdoors and adults can get their workout by the use of a video game system.  Rather than reality in the flesh, we use the virtual world for our work, recreation, entertainment, and social lives.  The virtual world can help our lives, but at the same time it poses the problem of confusion between reality and the fantasy of the virtual world. It is even a bigger problem when the fantasy of the virtual world becomes your only reality.

Living in this virtual world, the church needs to take responsibility in being a real church in the real world.  We should not be content in just playing church; we need to be a church.  That’s why I want to challenge us to understand the responsibility that God has given us as a church for the community we live in.  One issue that will help us become a real church in the real world is friendships.

Real friendships are challenged today by the virtual world. Through social networking, people build communities of shared interest, backgrounds, or friends online.  We cannot ignore the fact of how prevalent social networking is in the world. The numerous social network websites connect and build communities of people. Twitter is a program that allows a person to let others know what they are doing or what they are thinking.  There are 7 million people that use twitter and it continues to grow.  Facebook allows people to make friends and communicate with one another.  There are 66 million people that use Facebook.  The users of social networking sites cross all generations from kids to the elderly. Social networking allows people to connect and make friendships, but the danger of it is when it becomes our only sense of community and friendships.

In social networking, researchers are finding a social contingent, which is a process by which a person’s beliefs, emotions, feelings are being affected by their social network.  It is a concern because you might think you are only dealing with one friend, but in reality you are being influenced by the community. Social scientists, Dr. Christaki of Harvard University and Dr. James Fowler of University of California, San Diego found that our emotions and decisions are influenced by our social connections in our daily lives.  Social networks connect a multitude of people with one another.  Our emotions and decisions are not only influenced by just a friend, but all our friends and their connections, which are distant people that we do not know.

There is nothing wrong with social networking, but it has its concerns. The rapid growth of social networking may be due to loneliness.  We may have a lot of acquaintances and contacts online, but how many of us have true lifelong friends that we can open our hearts to, share life and be vulnerable with? Having relationships are hard.  They require time and openness.  We resist having true friendships and being open for the fear of being vulnerable, getting hurt and pride. So we tend to build up walls and deal with people behind the computer screen, where we can defriend or delete them easily. I want to challenge us to get in to friendships that are face to face.  It may be risky, but it’s well worth it.

It may be difficult and hard to establish a horizontal relationship.  We need to understand our vertical relationship that we have with Jesus Christ our Lord. As the Bible says, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Prob. 18:24 NKJV)

To have horizontal relationships with one another, we need to have a vertical relationship with Jesus.  He will never forsake or leave us.  Jesus will stick to us closer than any person that we know.  If we understand the qualities of friendship that Jesus provides, then we can extend that friendship horizontally to others and build life long friendships.

Here are some qualities of Jesus that we can use in our friendships:

1. Friends take time TO LISTEN;

The Lord listens to us all the time. He said, "Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear." (Is. 65:24 NIV) God also promised, "He will call upon Me, and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him." (Ps. 91:15)

The Lord is more concerned for us than Himself.  He came to serve – not to be served.  He came to this earth to give His life as a ransom for many.   He is more concerned about you and your life.  He always listens to your prayers.  Jesus’ actions as a friend show that he is always available to be there and listen to our concerns.  His actions are an example of how we should listen and be there for others. We don’t spend enough time listening to others.   Most of the time we don’t listen in the moment and pay attention to the person in front of us when they are talking.  The Lord listens to us, so we should take time to do the same for our friends.  We need to be the type of friend that is truly concerned and interested in what’s going on with their life, than being preoccupied with what we are going through. Also …

2.  Friends will tell you THE TRUTH, as well as what is true.
 

Remember, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” (Prov. 27:6) There is a difference between so-called friends and true friends.   So-called friends will tell you what you want to hear.  True friends will pull back and look at the bigger picture see what is true, and tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear.  As a friend we need to see what is true in our perspective and look at what God says is the truth.

As the Bible says, "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." (Phil. 4:8)

In the world there can be a lot of ugly things, but on the other end, there are so many things that are good in life that God wants us to dwell on.  God sees the ugly things, but he wants us to look at is honorable, pure and lovely. If we look too closely at the negatives, we miss the bigger picture.  For instance, if we just concentrate on the flaws of person, we fail to look at the good in the person.  If you don’t take the time to look at the bigger perspective of what God is saying we lose friendships.  We need to look at people as how God sees them.  It’s not about validating the choices they make or affirming their lifestyle, but to affirm the person. Everyone is valuable to the kingdom of God, Christian and non-Christian alike.  When we speak truth into a friendship, our words should be full of encouragement, words of exhortation and words of edification.  God sees all our sin but He loves us anyway.

• A friend is someone who knows all about you and LOVES YOU anyway.
   

A friend will believe the best about you despite it all.  They will stick by us even though we are wrong, because they want to help us move forward.  It’s not holding on to the differences, it’s building up and affirming the person.  The Lord has done that for us all the time, despite all our shortcomings.  He sees our potential and wants the best for us.

Remember, "Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends." (Prov. 17:9 NLT) The bottom line is we don’t want to hold on to the faults of others, but to look at people the way the Lord sees them.

3.  Friends won't hesitate to walk into BATTLE with you.

The real world is a battlefield that we walk into everyday.  You may think that you are prepared and equipped to handle it, but you will need real friends to help you.  Friends are there to encourage, and reaffirm your faith during life’s storms. The Bible advises, "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. . . And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart." (Eccl. 4:9-10, 12) 

During the time that Solomon wrote this passage, battles were fought hand to hand.  When one fights a battle alone, the enemy will easily overcome him or her. If two go in to battle, if one fell, the other would pick them up.  They would go into battle back to back covering each other’s vulnerable spots.  Two can resist the enemy.  The third strand is Jesus Christ. When two or more are bound through Christ, life’s battles will be overcome. 

We need to be a real church with real relationships.  We need to be real with one another and be the type of friend that gives our lives for one another just as Jesus did for us. If we can be that, then the rest of the world will see and want to be like that as well.

Discussion Suggestions

1. In what ways is Jesus a friend to you?  How can you extend that friendship to others?
2. In what ways can you become a better listener to your friends
3. How do you distinguish a so called friend as opposed to a friend that will tell you the truth?
4. What is the purpose of walking into battle with a friend?