Pastor Wayne Cordeiro
October 24, 2010 - W1043

Do you feel alone in a crowd? As the word in the medley song during the prelude goes, “One is a lonely number.” How about the other songs in the medley? “All the lonely people where do they come from?” Next in our series, Pastor Wayne will be leading us into a topic that is always prevalent during the holidays…loneliness. He will give us three beginning points and all the Bible verses to assist us in our spiritual journey and to continue our series on “When Jesus Seems Absent.”

Did you hear about the shipwreck a few miles out near the port of Portugal? No one survived except three survivors. Yes, there were three survivors. One was a Hawaiian, the other was Japanese and lastly one was a Portuguese. Then, they were in a life boat. They were all starting to get dehydrated. They saw this bottle floating on the ocean and picked up the bottle. They opened the top. Instead of water, a genie came out. The genie told the three stranded and lost passengers that they are granted one wish each. The Japanese guy wished to go home to be with my wife. Zap! He was gone. Next it was the Hawaiian guys turn. He said that he wanted to go to Ala Moana beach and sipping a glass of pineapple juice. Zap! He was gone.  Lastly, it was the Portuguese turn. He told the genie his wish. “Now, I am so lonely! I want my friends back!”  Loneliness! True story…

Recent polls mentioned that one of the chronic loneliness is an illness. The recent polls also showed that it was higher today than ten years ago. Ten years ago, it was only about 20%.  It affects ages between 40 to 55 years of age. Based on a UCLA loneliness scales, today it has gone up to 35% which represents about 44 million adults. If you are one of the million, you are in good company with one of God’s beloved, King David.

Let us read in the Bible verse...

"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted." (Ps. 25:16)

David felt that way. Loneliness is an equal opportunity affliction.  It doesn’t matter what your gender is, your background, your ethnicity, rich or poor, Christian or non-Christian. it afflicts everyone. Sometime in your lifetime, you will go through a season of loneliness. The causes are wide range and it varies. Sometimes it is unresolved sin. In the Bible, it says “the wages of sin is death.” Sin doesn’t destroy God’s people. It is not so much of the sin that separates us from God but the unresolved sin. With sin there is forgiveness and repentance. Unresolved sin produces a chasm that makes us bitter, angry, and resentful and we become lonely. It is like when a love one died. When my father died, I felt lonely. I felt abandoned. I was that way for days. I don’t know why I felt that way. For some people they feel anger and resentment because of a financial setback.  Prevalent in this kind of situation most of the times are insecurities and fear also. Seasons of loneliness could be silent killer or we can learn from it. Most of the times, you can draw closer to God or ran away from God. Like Adam and Eve in the Bible, when they sinned instead of running to God, they ran away from Him. In Genesis remember, before the fall of man, when God made man and woman, God meant for them not to be alone, so they won’t be lonely. God designed us to be with others.

I read this article from AARP magazine authored by Brad Edmondson that said “loneliness can be the cause for significantly increased chances for diabetes, sleep disorders, high blood pressure, and stress hormone called cortical that destroys the immune system and even thoughts of suicide.” Loneliness is also a cause for bad decisions. Like in marriages, loneliness was a driving force instead of love.

Even though loneliness is an equal opportunity affliction, it seems to like the extreme introvert and the extreme extrovert. Remember Johnny Carson.  Ed McMahon said once about Johnny Carson that he always look good time but could never find it. He suffered loneliness.  It is the case for most entertainers and comedians. Loneliness happens to most extreme extroverts and extreme introverts. Extrovert loves people. And when they are with them they fill their tank. And when they are away from them they get drained. Introverts love people. When he is with them they drain his tank. When the introvert is away from people, his tank gets filled. On the graph, mark where you are in the spectrum.

    Introvert___________________________________________________Extrovert

If you are on either end you will be affected more. It is an epic proportion in America today. How do you manage time of loneliness? How could we learn from it? We could learn from it…Suffering could change you but you have to choose it. You have to learn from it. We have to redeem it since we all will go through it.

Here are …

THREE BEGINNING POINTS

1. Develop a healthy daily ROUTINE.

Don’t leave your day to casual chance. Your future will not be determined by chance but by intentional purpose. Work harder on yourself better than working harder your job. Everything in your life will be affected by this. Do six things for self improvement. I use this acrostic…

PRAYER

·     I pray daily first thing in the morning. Depending in  my day, I do it for 15 minutes or longer.

EXERCISE

·     I do simple exercise if I am traveling like  a few push-ups

PLANNING

·     I plan my day. I don’t leave my day to chance. Write a least 6 things to accomplish to do and not procrastinate.

READ

·     Read some books. I strategically place books all over my house so I would read.

DEVOTIONS

·     Do your daily devotions. Spend time with God.

Let us read the next Bible verse…

 "So teach us to number our days that we may present to you a heart of wisdom."

(Ps. 90:12)

Make sure we have an account of our day. Be sure to have daily routine. Have a regiment. When you don’t have a routine…you are not susceptible to loneliness.

2. Take time for SOLITUDE.

Solitude is not the same as isolation. When you mess up you isolate yourself like when Adam and Eve sinned. Isolation is a consequence. Solitude is a choice you get away to cord yourself away to have a time to be still. It is also a time to get to know God and have a relationship with Him. You have to be okay with solitude. You and Jesus are a majority. Sometimes God ordains that time. If you’re not okay with solitude, you will be susceptible to loneliness.

Let us read the next Bible verse…

"...God left him alone only to test him, that He might know all that was in his heart." (2 Chr. 32:31b)

Everyone will go through a time of loneliness but when you have time for solitude, you will know how to respond to God. You will run towards Him instead of running away from Him.

Let us read the next Bible verse…

"Therefore He humbled their heart with labor; they stumbled and there was none to help. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble and He saved them out of their distresses." (Ps. 107:12-13)

Sometimes God has to put you on the shelf so we would ask his help. God also weans us from people so we would turn to Him. When we rely on people, our love sometimes becomes a love of misusing each other like “I scratch your back, you scratch mine.” It is not an agape love. When we come in solitude with God, we learn to love people like God loves us. Take time to do this…so

 The last point…

3. Invest your life in what is ETERNAL

I just want to take time to tell you get involved with small groups, care group or life group. What better place to be in.

·     Get INVOLVED with others going in the direction you want to go.

 "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in His holy dwelling. He sets the lonely in families..." (Ps. 68:5-6).

When you are involved with life groups and affinity groups you will understand that

·     Being lonely does not mean you are ALONE.

In conclusion, redeem your time with God. Turn to God. In moments of loneliness, He alone can turn your life.

Discussion Suggestions:

1. What are the three beginning points to help us when we are on the verge of loneliness? 

2. What does the acrostic “P.E.P.R.D.” that Pastor Wayne has used meant?

3. What is the difference between solitude and isolation?

4. What is the third beginning point?

5. Give examples in your life what you do to do the P.E.P.R.D. acrostic?