Forgiveness-The Master Key For Every Home

Forgive… But… Don’t Forget

By Pastor Alex Pacheco

June 26-27, 2010

Did you know that you are weird? Everyone is weird including the most prominent biblical figures. Just look in Genesis; Cain killed Abel, Noah got drunk and naked in front of his children, and Jacob favored his son Joseph which led his other sons to sell Joseph into slavery. These are just a few of the weird people in the Bible and they’re only in the first book! The bible is full of countless weird people. When you ride the bus, be aware that everyone on the bus is weird even the bus driver. What about your mailman, parents, children, teacher, and boss? Yes, they are ALL weird. We are messed up people and thus our relationships have been messed up since nearly Day 1. God wants us to know that everyone is weird and in need of desperate help. However, Jesus Christ can help us through any situation.

We need to listen to Jesus even if it’s opposite of what we really want to do because it leads to a better life. When Jesus was asked, “ ‘ “ ‘Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?’ Jesus replied, ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Matt. 22:36-39 NLT). Loving God cannot be separated from loving our neighbors. It goes hand in hand. This is why forgiveness is a fundamental and foundational part of our faith.

Living is when I'm right with GOD & OTHERS.

In order to have a right relationship with God, we need to ask for forgiveness and then enter into a relationship with Him. And in order to have a right relationship with others, we need to offer forgiveness. Yet, we all know forgiveness is incredibly difficult and one of the greatest obstacles in life. We frequently hear ourselves saying, “How I can forgive that person? Do you know what that person did to me? I will never, ever forgive that person.”

·     I can have a right relationship with God when I ASK FOR FORGIVENESS.

Despite its difficulty, we need to offer forgiveness and love our neighbors immediately. We need to address this breakdown of community and love NOW. As the bible says, “So if you are standing before the altar in the Temple, offering a sacrifice to God, and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there beside the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God” (Matt. 5:23-24 NLT). In order to enjoy our relationship with God to the fullest, this should be our top priority. THIS IS JOB NUMBER ONE.

·     I can have right relationships with others when I OFFER FORGIVENESS.

Now, we may find ourselves saying, “Do you know have many times that person hurt me? Do you know how many times that person disappointed me? How many times must I forgive that person?” When Peter asked, “ “‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?’ ‘No!’ Jesus replied, ‘seventy times seven!’”(Matt. 18:21-22 NLT). Jesus meant there should be no limit to forgiveness. If Jesus forgave us for all our sins, every sin we sinned from the moment we were born, why can’t we forgive others?

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I DON'T FORGIVE?

·     I disobey God's INSTRUCTIONS.

When we don’t forgive others, we end up disobeying God. Forgiveness is an act of your will to follow God’s way. We need to obey to be right with God and to be called the children of God. For Christians, forgiveness is not an option, it is a biblical command. We need to remember that forgiveness is not based on feelings and emotions. Forgiveness is a conscious decision we make. The bible says, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matt. 6:14-15 NLT).

·     My anger is INTENSIFIED.

·     I re-live painful EXPERIENCES.

Even if we are not Christian, our unwillingness to forgive will destroy us. We will become human porcupines and walking minefields that spread hurt wherever we go. The painful experiences that we re-live over and over again are like tumors that slowly destroy us from the inside. Compared to the cost to forgive, our unwillingness to forgive will cost us our lives and our hearts. It will choke our joy and fill us with resentment.

We must remember that God’s forgiveness of us is tied  to our forgiveness of others.  When we say, we CAN’T forgive someone; it really means we WON’T forgive them. Even though it seems unfair to forgive, God has promised that right actions will be honored and blessed by Him.

HOW I CAN BEGIN TO FORGIVE?

·     Identify the people who have HURT YOU.

First, we need to evaluate every corner of our lives and write down the names of the people who have hurt us. These people may include family members, friends, teachers or even a deceased person that has kept you from living life to the fullest. It may be a father who never told you how much he loved you or a friend who abandoned you in your hardship.

· Determine what they OWE YOU.

Imagine that a meeting has been arranged between you and that person, and the mediator asks you what they owe you for your forgiveness. Don’t pretend to be generous, be very specific as you write it down. Someone may owe you very little like an apology or explanation, or someone may owe you a lot like a marriage, your childhood, or maybe even a life. Whatever it is, be very specific and write it down, then …

· Cancel their DEBT.

Forgiveness means to release a legitimate debt. When you forgive someone, you are saying, “I let go of my right to hurt you or seek revenge. You don’t owe me anything anymore.” If we have any doubts or reservations, we must remember the bible says, “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you so you must forgive others” (Col. 3:13 NLT). Do whatever it takes for you to cancel their debts. For example, you can cross out their name that you wrote down or perhaps write PAID IN FULL across their name. Or maybe you’d prefer to read it aloud and say, “I have decided that this will never be right in a way that I feel but I release you of the debt.” If you need to be creative and dramatic, do it. Just do whatever it takes for you to cancel their debts.

Do not hang onto people’s wrongs because they CANNOT be erased, anyway. Don’t hold on, cancel it now. Listen to Jesus Christ and conform to His image. It cost Jesus Christ His life to forgive us. It cost God His one and only Son to forgive us. And it will cost us our will to forgive others and be right with God. Forgive others because He has forgiven you. Then, live the wonderful life God has planned for you.

God wants us to forgive others FOR US. As we forgive others, we will be able to live our lives in freedom. Forgiveness will free us. When we forgive, it is the work of the Holy Spirit; it is a miracle. We will be able to set the prisoner in our heart free. As that prisoner is released, we will realize that prisoner was ourselves all along.

DISCUSSION SUGGESTIONS

1.   Why does God want us to forgive others?

2.   What kinds of consequences have you experienced for your unwillingness to forgive?

3.   What kinds of blessings have you received after you’ve forgiven someone?

4.   How has Jesus’s forgiveness for you changed your life?

5.   What kind of life does God want us to live?