Pastor Wayne Cordeiro
November 1, 2009 - W0944

Have you ever lost something important like a relationship or a loved one? Was the pain and suffering deep and indescribable? Well, did you know God has a plan through all our pain and suffering? Yes! He sure does! The story of the prodigal son has a precious insight and lessons we can learn from today. This story contains a poignant lesson on forgiveness. You see, forgiveness isn’t always what you see on the surface. It just might be something far greater and eternal.

I don’t know about you but many people wrestle with forgiveness. It’s as difficult to understand as it is to do. Yet, it is so important. The Book of Luke tells us three stories of things that were lost. There was a lost coin, a lost sheep and a lost son. And although these were three different stories, only two of them were sought after. For example, when the coin or sheep was lost, someone looked for it. However, when the son was lost, no one went after him. Here is the story of a father who loses his son only to forgive him.    

“And He said, ‘A man had two sons. The younger of them said to his father, “Father, give me the share of the estate that falls to me.” So he divided his wealth between them. And not many days later, the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country, and there he squandered his estate with loose living…’” (Luk. 15: 11-13)

Wouldn’t this just make any parent or sibling upset? Yet, the father did not go after or refute his son. It’s as if the father knew there was something he had to do. So what was it? Well, here is the first of three starting points about forgiveness. The first was to release his son in order for God to accomplish something in his son’s life. You see, one of the first starting point characteristics of true forgiveness to understand is….. 

   STARTING POINTS CAN BE CHARACTERIZED BY:

1)   THE POWER TO RELEASE.

It is a difficult thing to do but sometimes we’ll need to release things. Yes, as parents we try to do our best in protecting and caring for our children. Just maybe, we need to let our kids hear God on their own; and remind ourselves that we can’t raise our children by ourselves. We need God. Otherwise, we’ll die on hills we shouldn’t. And if we don’t release them to God, He can’t be involved.

God knows what’s best for our children. And in order to allow God to work on our children, we will need to be patient…for the lesson of consequence and pain is a gift. “Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to be impoverished. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him…” (Luk. 15:14-16)  No parent would like to see their child starving. Yet, the father didn’t go after his son. Instead, he released his son in order for God to work on him a little bit more.

A while ago, I got a phone call from Hilo late in the evening. It was a woman begging me to fly over and accompany her to bail her son out of jail. So I asked her, what happened? She said her son got arrested for drunken disorderly conduct and resisting arrest, and because of this, they wanted to keep him in jail for two days. “But,” she exclaimed, “I can bail him out!” Again, she wanted me to assist her.  

I said, “No, leave him right there.” Surprised at my response she said, “What?” and added, “that’s two days in jail!” And I said to her, “Good! It’ll take him one day to sober up and one day to come to his senses.”

However, she insisted on bailing him out. I explained to her if she did, she’ll mess him up even more. You see, although she meant well, she needed to understand how to release her son so that God can talk to him a little bit. I added, “I know it’s hard,” but reassured her she was releasing him to God for a little while.

When you become a parent, you’ll find that you’ll do anything to protect your child from illness and from harm. If needed, you’d probably offer your life in exchange for them to have life. And this is a reflection of our Father’s love for us.    

Catch this! Although we’d like to protect our loved ones, there are times when God is building their immune system. And, if we keep our loved ones from God’s immune system, they will be so frail. It will only lead them to and stricken them with problems in their later years. Remember, we need God to help us raise our children. Hence, what we see is just a fraction of what God is really doing underneath.

How many of us learn by our own experiences? And how many of us learn from other people’s experiences? Of these two, the better way to learn is from other people’s experiences. I remember when my son Aaron was young. I had just drove in with my motorcycle and told him not to touch the pipes even though they were chrome and nice looking. Why? Because they were hot! Well, I left Aaron there and went in the house.

Later that evening while having dinner, I noticed a big blister on Aaron’s finger. I didn’t say anything because I understood that sometimes people need to learn by experience. As for the prodigal son, he learned by starving. Listen, it’s in the pain and suffering that we learn. And pain is one of the greatest gifts you’ll gain. Yes, although we don’t see pain as a gift, it is. Pain will be the teacher.

So, the first step of forgiveness is to release. Why? Because releasing allows God to be involved. Because pain and suffering are where humility is learned. This is what happened to the prodigal son when he came to his senses. Interestingly, throughout the process, the father prayed and waited for his son. And when the son came to his senses by himself, he had…

2) THE HUMILITY TO RETURN.

“But when he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger! I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men.”’ So he got up and came to his father…” (Luk. 15:17-20). Please understand that part of forgiveness is allowing God to be in the process.  By doing so you will allow other’s to come to their senses.

Can you imagine the amount of humility it took for the son to go to his father and say I messed up? Yes, through it all he learned humility. A lot of us don’t want our children to go through pain. Instead, we would rather take it away. Maybe that’s the reason we didn’t discipline, speak to, or to counsel them. We just didn’t have the power to release them to consequences of their actions. It is important to understand that it is not abandoning, but releasing to discipline and consequences. So please remember, the humility to return is powerful.

How many times have we heard a rumor about someone and talked about it, only to realize the rumor was not true? To understand that we came to the wrong conclusion is one thing, but to go and apologize for spreading the rumor is another. It takes humility to return. The power of forgiveness is pretty powerful.

Years ago while in Hilo, I had a friend and we did everything together. However, when I made the decision to move to Oahu, he thought differently. He said I wasn’t done in Hilo and I needed to stay there. As for me, I felt God saying to move, and so I did. Well, as it were, it broke our friendship. I went one way and he went the other.

Later on, I heard he had said some things about me. Upset about this, I wanted to defend my reputation and refute him. However, the Lord spoke to me and said not to say a thing. Just leave it, and only speak well. I must say it was a very difficult exercise for me to do because I thought I was right and felt cheated, but God kept telling me not to do anything because He was doing something greater. And so I heeded.

Then about three years later, as I stepped out of the auditorium after just speaking, I saw my friend. It was on a Saturday and he had flown in from Hilo just to ask for forgiveness. To say the least, it was a wonderful reunion! To be able to hug and embrace him was unimaginable.

Imagine the humility it took for my friend to see me. Had I not listened to the Lord, it would have thwarted what God wanted to do in his heart - the humility to return. There’s something about understanding forgiveness…it allows God to put pieces in place where He has planned.  

The prodigal son had the humility to return because of a father that understood forgiveness.  So when the moment came when the son came over the hill, the father ran to him. He put a cloak over him and put a ring on his finger. He then told his servants to kill a fattened calf  to celebrate! They called everyone over to rejoice because his son had come home!

When we have the power to release, it brings the humility to return. And when we have the humility to return, it brings the courage to forgive. Which is the third and final starting point characteristic of true forgiveness.

3) THE COURAGE TO FORGIVE.

The story of the prodigal son also tells of a brother who was upset with at the prodigal for squandering his money away. The brother tells the father, “What are you doing giving a party to someone who squanders all he has? He doesn’t deserve forgiveness!”  And the father answers him with a lesson we can all heed. “…And he said to him, ‘Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.’” (Luk. 15:31-32). I don’t know about you, but the part that says “we had to celebrate” always confused me. Why would you celebrate someone who wronged you, much less forgive him?

And here it is:  The father had to celebrate and forgive because something bigger was going on then what meets the eye. Remember, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28). To put it another way: If we love God and we do things the way He taught us, it releases God to knit all the pieces together into a fabric that makes sense! And, brings benefit to all!

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Gen. 50:20). Aha!

Jesus was on the cross. He was cheated and framed. He could have refuted or taken revenge. He could have sent a legion of angels to destroy mankind if he wanted to. But the Bible tells us otherwise. From the cross Jesus said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

Forgiveness brings redemption. Because of what Jesus did, the Father knew generations of people would be redeemed. Had Jesus not forgiven, redemption would not have been available to us today. 

“Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? But instead, one brother goes to law against another-and this in front of unbelievers! Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?” (1Cor. 6:5-7). In addition, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed.” (Jam. 5:16)

Remember, pain is one of the greatest gifts. And forgiveness entails a far greater measure than we can imagine. So instead of withholding a precious gift from others, have the power to release in order that they may learn. It will give them an opportunity to return when they come to their senses. Then, forgive, rejoice and celebrate! For we were once blind, but now we see. Lost, but now found! It is an opportunity to help others come home to the Father!

DISCUSSION SUGGESTIONS

1.   Is there someone God has placed in your heart to release to Him?

2.   Have you been hurt, betrayed or framed by someone? In this relationship, which is more important, defending your reputation & pride or forgiving them? Why?

4.   Pray for the Lord to intercede.

5.   What impacted you most today and how will you live life differently because of it?