Pastor Wayne Cordeiro
March 29, 2009 - W0913

Most of the problems we get ourselves into are because we opened our mouths.  Yet the answer to the problem can be found in the same places as our mouths…right under our noses.  Some of us get in trouble because we talk incessantly.  While some people are uncomfortable with silence so they talk until they find something worthy to say.  The scripture provides three examples of when people spoke too soon.

The first was Jephthah in the book of Judges.  “Jephthah made a vow to the LORD, and said, ‘If You will indeed deliver the people of Ammon into my hands, then it will be that whatever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the people of Ammon, shall surely be the LORD’s, and I will offer it up as a burnt offering’” (Judges 11:30-31).  This was a very rash promise, but sincere.  He meant whatever animal comes out of his house first, he would offer "it." He thought he would sacrifice one of his animals to the LORD as a token of thanksgiving for victory over the enemy. However, to his horror, the first thing that came out of his home was his [only] daughter and he did to her as he had vowed.

The second was King Herod.  Herod spoke rashly in the book of Mark:  “…On his birthday Herod gave a banquet for his high officials and military commanders and the leading men of Galilee. When the daughter of Herodias came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his dinner guests.  The king said to the girl, ‘Ask me for anything you want, and I'll give it to you.’ And he promised her with an oath, ‘Whatever you ask I will give you, up to half my kingdom.’  She went out and said to her mother, ‘What shall I ask for?’  Herodias answered, ‘The head of John the Baptist.’" (Mark 6:21-24).  As a result of his rash promise, King Herod had to execute John the Baptist – someone whom he respected and admired – because he spoke too soon.

Then third and lastly, we know the story of Peter the Apostle.  “While Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came by. When she saw Peter warming himself, she looked closely at him. ‘You also were with that Nazarene, Jesus,’ she said.  But he denied it. ‘I don't know or understand what you're talking about,’ he said, and went out into the entryway.  When the servant girl saw him there, she said again to those standing around, ‘This fellow is one of them.’ Again he denied it.  After a little while, those standing near said to Peter, ‘Surely you are one of them, for you are a Galilean.’  He began to call down curses on himself, and he swore to them, ‘I don't know this man you're talking about.’  Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: ‘Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times.’ And he broke down and wept” (Mark 14:66-72).

James has an answer to our rashness: “This you know, my beloved brethren.  But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20).

Take note of the order of his advice:  (1) quick to hear, (2) slow to speak, and (3) slow to anger.  Why?  Because the anger of man cannot be used by God in 1,000 years!  The anger of man will never, in a thousand years, achieve the righteousness of God.  Learning to bridle our tongues is critical to our faith.  If we don’t, our Christianity won’t grow.

“If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceive his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless” (James 1:26).

If we don’t bridle our tongues, we’ll be prone to deceiving our own hearts!  Marriages will be destroyed; friendships will be destroyed – all because of the corrosive quality of our tongues.  So what steps can we take to control our tongues?

THREE STEPS IN CONTROLLING OUR TONGUE:

1.      QUICK TO HEAR.

“The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things” (Prov. 15:28).  Things that are righteous don’t come quickly, we must ponder them…there’s a reason why God have us two ears and just one mouth!

“He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him” (Prov. 18:13).  Folly and shame come upon us because we are not quick to hear.

A man put an ad in the paper once that said, “Call me and I will listen.”  After about two months, this became the man’s full-time job!  Everyone needs someone to listen to them.  Dale Carnegie said, “You can make more friends in two months by being interested in them than you can in two years of trying to get them to be interested in you.”

Listening, or being quick to hear, is the first step in controlling your tongue and the second is…

2.      SLOW TO SPEAK.

 Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.  This is false!  Words can and do hurt when spoken too quickly.  Non-christians are skeptical of us Christians because oftentimes we are quick to answer without knowledge or wisdom.  “There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Prov. 12:18).

The tongue of the wise brings healing so if you want to use your tongue for healing, you must not thrust it like a sword.  You must slow down because wise words are harder to find.  The words of healing are harder to find and must not be like the thrusts of the sword.

“Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent (Prov. 17:28).  To translate into more common terms:  “It’s better to just be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubts! 

The first step to controlling your tongue is to be quick to hear.  The second step is to be slow to speak.  Then the last step to controlling your tongue is to be…

3.      SLOW TO ANGER.

Why?  Because in 1,000 years, anything fueled by anger will NOT achieve the purposes of God.  You may postpone a problem with anger but you will not solve it.  You may get your way but it’ll never achieve God’ purposes.  Love will achieve discipline but anger will just be punishment. 

You may be wondering then…why does God put us in those positions?  Why does He put us in situations that may anger us?  Think of it this way, “…the testing of your faith produces endurance, and let endurance have it perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (James 1:3-4).

In the words of Mother Theresa, “God will never entrust to you something that you can’t handle but sometimes I wish He didn’t trust me so much!”

“It is better to be patient than powerful; it is better to have self-control than to conquer a city” (Prov. 16:32 NLT).

Patience and self-control are fruits of the spirit.  “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience…” (Gal. 5:22).

Just a few more minutes helping a child with homework or waiting for a wife as she puts on her mascara.  A theory suggests that if you would increase your patience by 20%, you’ll decrease your enemies by 50%.

If we’re going to be people of genuine religion, then we need to…be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger because…anger does not achieve the purposes of God.

Men of this church, I want to speak specifically to you.  We tend to be very passive when we get home at night, sitting around in our chair with the remote.  We tend to be very passive, to ignore things that we see (like dishes piling up in the sink, no one taking out the trash) until we finally blow up.  Sometimes it takes anger to motivate or energize us enough to do something about it.  Unfortunately, whenever we are motivated or energized by anger, it will not achieve the righteousness of God – God won’t touch it and it’ll never bear fruit.  Anger escalates and it feeds on itself then wants to devour more stuff. 

Our mouths can get us into a lot of trouble so James as some good advice as to how to we can control our tongues with three simple principles:  be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger because God will never be able to use your anger for His purposes.  On the other hand, He can always use your love, patience, and self-control for His glory.  Amen.

DISCUSSION SUGGESTIONS

1.      What is the advice of “Quick, Slow, Slow” as it pertains to our new series:  Me and My Big Mouth?

2.      Why is it so important for us to manage our anger?

3.      What does it mean to be “Quick to Hear”?  Give an example.

4.      Why is it so important to be “Slow to Speak”?  What’s the fallacy with the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?”

5.      How good are you at controlling your anger?  What techniques can/do you use to slow your anger?  What can you suggest to others?

6.      What advice does James 1:19-20 have for us and why?