How are we doing as far as keeping our promises? How honest have we been to the things we’ve said yes to? In other words, can we be trusted? A survey done tells us men are most likely to lie about impersonal things. Where as women are most likely to lie about relational things. Statistics also shows us there as far as our promises are concerned there is no difference between Christians and non Christians.

So let us take the time to see what the Bible tells us about our promises. Two thousand years ago James wrote about this, “Above all, my brothers, do not swear – not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No,’ no, or you will be condemned” (Jam. 5:12 NIV).

In those days, the people had the Ten Commandments. And yet the Pharisees came up with an elaborate scheme where a person would be held up to their promise.  It was swearing to something. And it went like this. If you by God, you’ll need to keep that promise. But if you sword by the sun, the earth or by the hairs on your head etc., then you won’t be held to your promise.

On this, the Jews did not make promises in God’s name. Because then they wouldn’t need to keep their promises or oaths. If we apply this to us today, do we do this as well? However being Christians, we should thrive to be a man or woman of our word. As scriptures teaches us, our yes should be yes, and no be no. So why is this so important? Here are three important points about keeping our promises. The first is…

1.      YOUR COMMITMENT DEFINES WHO YOU ARE.

Listen, it’s not what we say that will define who we are. But instead, whether or not we can be counted on to carry it out. Just as importantly, it will define your family, your legacy and your reputation.

For instance, as Christians we say “God bless you” or “I’ll pray for you” to others. And yes it’s easy to say these things. And, it may sound religious or spiritual. But if we don’t mean them, we should not say them. Here is Jesus advice, “And don’t say anything you don’t mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, I’ll pray for you,’ and never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it. You don’t make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.” (Matt. 5:33-37 MSG). This tells us to not manipulate our words because it becomes less believable. In other words, we should not say things we don’t mean.

Integrity is not about religious words. But in fact, an inside out discipline. The Lord wants our integrity from the inside out. It is an inside truthfulness that does not depend on someone saying, “I promise, I really do!” Or, “I’ll swear on my mother’s grave!” As Christians, let our yes be yes. And, our no be no. And if you say yes, follow through with it. Here is a scripture that tells us what we say and how we carry it out defines who we are. “Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart.” (Psm. 51:6 AMP)  

Did you know when we say we are going to do something, the world is watching? Yes, others watch to see if we live out what we’ve said we’re going to do. Therefore, we’ll need to take our promises seriously than we’ve had. And yes, promises are hard to keep when the going gets tough. And, here is the second important point about promises.

2.      KEEP YOUR PROMISES EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS INSIGNIFICANT.

Listen, although your promise may not be a big deal to you, it most certainly does to the world. Therefore, if you justify a little dishonesty here and there it all adds up. And though insignificant to you, it’ll take you closer to where you don’t want to be. Specifically, places in our hearts, in our thoughts and feelings.

For example, most divorces take place in someone’s heart rather than in the court. What? Yes, it happens in their emotions. So be careful because affairs do take place in the heart. And if you think it’s harmless and say you’re just window shopping.  Just remember every little thought adds up. A lie is like a pregnancy. It won’t take long before everyone will find out. And, it won’t take long before you start to show.

Please understand this is not about being dishonest per say. But specifically, who you’re becoming in the midst of what your mind or feelings are giving attention to. So be wary when you entertain those little insignificant thoughts. The Bible tells us, “You used to walk in these ways…But now you must rid yourselves of all such things…Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with it’s practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” (Col. 3:7-10 NIV)

You see, when we fail to follow through with commitments by entertaining thoughts we shouldn’t be, we are morphing back into someone we don’t want to be. Here is what John tells us when we entertain thoughts we shouldn’t. “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (Jn. 8:44 NIV)

Therefore, at this point in time of our spiritual walk with the Lord, let’s press forward and continue to live the life of integrity and honesty that we’ve set out to do. By doing so, it will show if we’ve loved the Lord. Let our walk reflect Him in everything that we do!

Did you know the way a non-Christians see God depends on our lives? Basically, have we lived according to our word? So take time to reflect and see how we live our lives.

I’m a bit embarrassed to share this with you, but I’m always transparent. So here’s a part of my life that I’ll share with you. Awhile ago, Joy and I were having dinner at the food court in Ala Moana Shopping Center. My wife Joy loves eating ice cream after dinner. So, after dinner I went to the Hagen Daz counter to buy some. As I looked I saw that the prices were three-fifty for a single scoop. And, four-fifty for a double scoop. To save money, I concluded and bought a four fifty double scoop for the both of us.

As I made my purchase, I heard a man from behind me say, Pastor Elwin! So I turned around and saw a guy with some dirty clothes that had some holes in them. I also noticed that his belly was sticking out and he looked un-shaven. And, he was holding a worn out Bible.

He then said, Pastor Elwin I could sure use one of those! Being a conservative Chinese that I am, I thought four fifty for an ice cream is expensive! Then he quickly changed his mind and said may be I don’t need one of those. And my thoughts were, thank goodness! Or else it would have cost me another four fifty.

Thereafter, he came up to me and started telling me about my life. He asked me about my son Brandon and about Jared. Then out of the blue he asked me for a hug. Oh gosh, I thought. And,

I have ice cream in my hands. Nonetheless, I reached out to give him a courteous as I held the ice cream out to the side.

To my surprise, he grabbed me and pulled me tight. Then, asked if my wife Joy was with me. I responded yes and pointed to wear Joy was sitting. He quickly replied the same one? Ha, ha, ha! I was astounded by a stranger who knew so much about me and my life. Excitingly, he asked if he could meet her. So I brought him over and introduced Joy to him. And Joy looked at me with that who is this look on her face.  

Well, as it were this fellow whom we still don’t know who he is reached out to hug Joy. But then Joy offered her hand instead.  And just as he did with me, he started telling her about her life. And as quickly as he started starting talking to me, he said God bless you guys and I’ll see you later! And, walked away. After that, Joy asked me who that guy was. Startled at just what happened, I said I don’t know. And told her this fellow started telling me about my life. And, asked for some ice cream. Of course on this note, joy asked if I bought him one. And I said no.

So while she questioned me about not buying an ice cream for that guy. I replied why didn’t you hug him? It was after this when Joy said, the Bible says when you’re hospitable to strangers you might just be entertaining an angel.

Wow! On that note, I thought to my self, no way! So I quickly started looking for him. But by then but he was gone. Let me just say it bothered me immensely all night. Here I am a Christian. Yet, when the opportunity came along, I was more concerned about my ice cream than giving someone a hug. I was filled with regret and realized the insignificance of an ice cream was nothing to the cost to the kingdom if I had just been hospitable to that guy. Who knows, he could have been an angel or Jesus who was standing there. And I missed it because I was concerned with insignificant things.

For the men out there, please put down your pen and pick up a baseball glove instead and toss a ball with your son. Or when your children need to be read to, please read to them. Just put the bills and the worries aside. Because your son or daughter just needs you to be with them. Listen, it doesn’t have to cost a thing. If need be, just roll around with them on the floor and have a good time.

Please understand that although it seems insignificant to you, it means the world to them.  The same goes for women. Spend time with your children. And, with the time that you have for them, give them all that you have. And speaking of love, Valentines Day is around the corner. Men, please go and buy flowers for your wives. And, instead of buying a card, write a poem to someone you love. Or, you could cook dinner for someone instead of going out to a restaurant. All in all, it’s about keeping your promises to those you say you love. 

Yet for some of us, there are promises that are hard to keep. Especially when it hurts or when there’s a price to pay. Nonetheless, please keep your promises which brings us to the third and final point of promises, promises.

3.      KEEP YOUR PROMISES EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS REGRETTABLE.

Although circumstances may have not turned out the way you had hoped, keep your promises. Even if affections are not returned to you. In other words, don’t allow regret to keep you from fulfilling your promises. “Lord, who may dwell in Your sanctuary?...He whose walk is blameless and…who speaks the truth from his heart and…who keeps his oath even when it hurts.” (Psm. 15: 1-4 NIV)

If you miss everything else, catch this! Be a man or woman of your word! The Lord knew the importance of promise keeping and honesty. So let your yes’ be yes and your no be no. Please understand that broken promises have nothing to do with financial fallouts or economic consequences. But rather, broken promises lead to broken relationships. Because when a trust is violated a relationship suffers. Of course we’ll all go through bumps and bruises and miscommunications along the way. However, when a trust has been violated because someone didn’t keep their word the damage takes years to recover. And, it takes time to rebuild a trust once again.

Many times some would rather walk away form a situation rather than finding a way to resolve it. Only to later regret it. So don’t give in to regret. But rather, work to keep your commitment to one another. Above all, stay true to your commitment to the Lord. And then let everything else work it self out.

Remember that there will come a day when we’ll stand before the Lord. And, you’ll want to be able to say Lord, I’ve done everything I could even if my spouse choose to walk away. Integrity is staying true to your word irregardless of the changes in a relationship or circumstances around you. Remember, this defines who you are, your family, your legacy and the generations to follow. So keep your promises even when it seems insignificant and even when it seems regrettable.

If there was one person who had to stay true to His promise it would be Jesus Christ. “’Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.’…And being in agony He was praying very fervently; and His sweat became like drops of blood, falling down upon the ground.” (Luk. 22:42-44)

This tells us Jesus was the ultimate promise keeper. He could have walked away from His promise, but He stayed true. How many of us can say that we were in such agony that we sweated blood? Yet Jesus did, and he stayed true. More importantly, He did it for us! He allowed His body to be broken, suffered pain and torture because He knew future generations would benefit from it! And we have!

DISCUSSION SUGGESTIONS

Q1) Recall the last time you spent quality time with your loved ones. And, plan a time sometime this week doing something you  will enjoying doing with  them.

Q2) How are you doing in your marriage? Think of a creative way that you can show your spouse you care for him/her this coming Valentines Day (Feb. 14).

Q3) If you are in the midst of leaving your spouse, recall your vows. To whom did you swear or make a promise to?

Q4) Pray and ask for guidance, obedience, discipline, courage and above all, love.

Q5) What impacted you most? And, how will you become a better person of integrity and honesty?