Pastor Elwin Ahu
November 30, 2008 - W0848

Life will not always turn out the way you want it to.  Maybe you don’t get that promotion you think you deserve.  Or maybe your marriage doesn’t turn out the way you imagined.  Or perhaps something tragic happens to someone you love or you’re close to.  So often we have expectations of what life is supposed to be or what this life is supposed to provide to us but we are disappointed.  What are we to do?

As most of you know, two and a half years ago my wife Joy and I adopted a little boy from China, Jared.  He’s now six years old and he asked Joy, “If I have a girlfriend, do I still need to marry her if she’s ugly?”  Joy immediately told him that we shouldn’t be marrying people based on their looks but rather on things like their character and their love for God.  She then told Jared to ask me why I married her.  At first Jared refused but after a few more prompts, he asked me, “Why did you marry Mom?”  And my response was, “Because of her good looks.”  Then I told Jared to ask Joy why she married me.  Her response was, “I don’t know, I’m still trying to figure that out!”

Well today we want to talk about unmet expectations and how we should be dealing with that.  One of the hardest things we have to do as Christians is to deal with unmet expectations.  We have a tendency to write out our own life plans and then expect God to make it all happen.  For example, we have this expectation that if we study hard in school and get a good education, we’ll be able to get a good job, earn good money, and then have a good life.  But life sometimes has its own plan.

We’ve created this assumption that if we’re good, we will be blessed – and this creates unmet expectations.  And then when things don’t turn out as we expect, we have misperceptions of God’s love for us.

The Bible is full of examples of how we as Christians often have unmet expectations and how difficult it is for us to deal with that.  Perhaps the most recognizable example of unmet expectations is the story of Job who, in spite of his devotion to God, lost his home, his family, his possessions, and even his health.  Yet in the end, God blessed Job’s faithfulness in ways that his unbelieving companions could not have imagined.

Today, let’s focus on John the Baptist in Matthew chapter 11.  You will recall that John the Baptist was Jesus’ cousin who believed in Jesus as the Messiah and even performed Jesus’ baptism.  At some point during his ministry, John the Baptist had a run-in with King Herod.  King Herod had an incestuous relationship with his brother’s wife and John was the only one who was willing to publicly denounce with King Herod was doing.  As a result, John – a messenger of God – found himself sitting in a prison.

Now, I can just imagine John sitting in prison saying to himself, “Nothing to worry about.  My cousin Jesus, the Messiah, will come and bail me out any day now.”  A month passes, no Jesus.  Two months pass, no Jesus.  Four months pass, no Jesus.  Eight months pass, no Jesus.  Fifteen months pass and still no Jesus!  So what did John do?

“Now when John in prison heard of the works of Christ, he sent word by his disciples, and said to Him, ‘Are You the Expected One, or shall we look for someone else?’” (Matt. 11:2-3)

John the Baptist knew who Jesus was yet sometime during his imprisonment, he started to deal with unmet expectations and it caused him to question or misperceive who Jesus was.  Sometimes this can happen to us, we ask God to help us get out of the [metaphorical] prison that we’re in but we still find ourselves stuck in that prison. For example, maybe it’s an untimely death of a loved one and you feel short-changed of the life you expected to have with that person.  You may feel disappointed and short-changed, especially now during the holiday season. 

If you’re in this kind of situation or feeling this way, there are two things you should remember: 

1. You are not alone.   Jesus asked in His time of need, and John the Baptist expressed doubts as well.
2. Know that Jesus hears you.

When Jesus heard what John said from the disciples, “Jesus answered and said to them, ‘Go and report to John what you hear and see:  the blind receive sight and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the poor have the gospel preached to them.  And blessed is he who does not take offense at me.’” (Matt 11:4-6)

John had some doubts.  God didn’t fit into his preconceived notion of what should or shouldn’t happen and he started to doubt who Jesus was.  Sometimes we do this; sometimes we think of Jesus as if He’s “Santa Jesus” and that He will give us good gifts if we’re good.  But don’t get confused or caught up in your need to know “why” things are occurring as opposed to “who” is behind it all.

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has set down before Him endured the cross, despising the same, and has set down at the right hand of the throne of God.  For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lost heart.” (Heb. 12:1-3)

We have a tendency to get caught up in what’s happening to us but…

1.      DON’T ALLOW THE “WHY” TO OVERSHADOW THE “WHO”.

Hebrews 10:25 states, “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”  This scripture urges us to gather ourselves, in the company of witnesses, to encourage one another and avoid getting caught up in our happenstances.  Instead…

2.      TRAIN YOUR EYES TO SEE AND YOUR EARS TO HEAR.

“For the heart of this people has become dull, with their ears they scarcely hear, and they have closed their eyes, otherwise they would see with their eyes, hear with their ears, and understand with their heart and return, and I would heal them.  But blessed are your eyes, because they see; and your ears, because they hear.” (Matt. 13:15-16)

John couldn’t see the bigger picture at that time; his expectations blinded him from seeing.  Our committee of me, myself, and I is very effective at convincing us about just about anything.  Let me illustrate this point using a ukulele.  For example, if I take this ukulele and tune it according to what I think is correct, when I play it alone, it sounds fine.  But, if I play my ukulele at the same time as God – whose ukulele is tuned to the correct notes (not just my perception of what the correct know) – you will be able to hear the discrepancy between my self-perceived tuning and God’s ultimate.

Now when this dissonance happens, what should I do about it?  Should I tell God, “Adjust to my expectations.”  Of course not!   Yet don’t we try to do that all the time?  When what we’re doing doesn’t feel right, when we’re not quite in synch with God’s tune/plan, should we be asking God to adjust to our tune?  Don’t be ridiculous.  We need to synch back to God’s tune, not Him to ours.  Then lastly…

3.      YOUR FUTURE IS NOT DEFINED BY WHAT HAS HAPPENED BUT BY WHAT CAN HAPPEN.

“…those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.” (Is. 40:31).

The word used for “wait” suggests an earnestness that God can and will do something with this situation and that we are looking forward to what lays ahead.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ…who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comfortable by God.” (2 Cor. 11:3-4)

Today, as we look at example of John the Baptist as one who knew the truth but whose unmet expectations caused him to question Jesus, we need to remember to not allow the “whys” of our situation to overshadow the “whos”, to train your eyes to see and your ears to hear, and to not define your future by what has already happened but by what can happen. 

DISCUSSION SUGGESTIONS:

1.      Think about a time when you allowed yourself to be held prisoner by your circumstances rather than free on the promises of God.  What allowed that to happen?

2.      What does it mean to not allow the Why to overshadow the Who?

3.      How can you train your eyes to see and your ears to hear?

4.      Share about a time when you defined your future based on what happened in the past rather than what could happen.  How did that affect you?

5.      What did you hear today and how will you be different because of that?