Pastor Wayne Cordeiro
September 28, 2008 - W0839

Remember those days when love seemed so easy and automatic? But then time goes by and the candlelight dinners become electric bills, gourmet dinners transform into overweight people, your boyfriend hero becomes a husband zero, and “she’s hot” becomes “not”, and “I love you forever” becomes “Love you?  Whatever!” The downward slide begins and eventually dead ends. Sometimes what began as a blessing becomes a curse and you do not know how it happened or what to do. Can the situation be fixed?

Today, Apostle Peter is going to tell us about the relationship between husbands and wives that can be applied to not only marriage but other relationships as well.  What do you do when things no longer feel automatic? What do you do when a relationship that was healthy has turned sour? Peter answers, “To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (1 Pet. 3:8-9).

It should be noted that Peter did not say to be harmonious only if you felt like it. You should be harmonious regardless of how you feel. We should lead an intentional life, especially when a blessing becomes a curse.  And it could happen in a marriage, a friendship or between family members, even among Christians.

God has an inheritance for us but we need to forgive others in order to receive it.  It is like we have a rich father that has left a huge inheritance for us but the will has conditions that we have to meet before it is granted. Our Father God has left us tutors in the Bible to help us steward all that He has given us. So we have to live an intentional life to receive the blessings or inheritance or turn the curses into blessings. Christians need to live by faith not feelings. If you only live a life of feelings, you will never lead a life of faith.

In the early development of cars, there was only manual transmission not automatic transmission.  You had to manually wind up the windows and manually lock all the doors. Today everything is automatic. Cars will shift automatically, windows will go up or down by themselves, radios will tune themselves and doors will lock automatically.  Soon cars will even grab you and seat you!

Life is the opposite. It goes from everything being automatic in the beginning to (hopefully) intentional later. When you were a baby someone fed you automatically. Your sheets and clothes were clean and new, automatically. You were usually taken to to school, automatically. Your first love was automatic; you did not have to work at it. You could stare at your young love and she would stare back with adoration.  Now if you stare at your wife she yells back, “What are you looking at?!?”

To maintain marriage, love, faith and devotion we have to be intentional. We have to do things intentionally to preserve those things worthwhile.  It no longer is automatic…but blessings will be returned to us if we live an intentional life. Intentional love is not a feeling but a choice. And remember …

BLESSINGS FOLLOW AN INTENTIONAL LIFE.

Lots of things are easy or automatic in the beginning. When you become a new Christian, everyone loves you and welcomes you into the church. But the daily behavior of a Christian towards others becomes hard work. As the Bible says, “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them” (Luke 6:32). Even non-Christians live by their feelings so Christians should not slide back into only behaving as they feel. Christians still have to love those that are tough to love.

·        LIVE BY WHAT YOU KNOW, NO LONGER BY HOW YOU FEEL.

We need to cultivate our love intentionally and build our faith intentionally. In a lifestyle of intention we will realize our God given inheritance. As it is written, “The just shall live by faith” (Rom. 1:17). We might tolerate small sins but we also need to be able to forgive larger ones as well. Remember, “… sin is crouching at your door. It wants to rule you, but you must overcome it” (Gen. 4:7 TEV).

As Peter said, we should not be, “returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3:9). Peter wanted us to do this intentionally, not only when we feel like it.

There are three stages of an intentional life …

1. FIRST STAGE: QUICK FORGIVENESS.

As the Bible says, “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you …” (Matt. 5:44). In the beginning of a love relationship, it is easy to forgive. If your girlfriend forgets the car keys it is not a big deal. But years later, if your wife forgets the car keys, you say, “wassamatta … stupid?!” After a time, forgiveness in relationships has to become intentional.

Why does God say that forgiveness is important? Well, there was once this guy that kept on hassling me and I vowed to get revenge on him.  But God stopped me and told me to forgive right away. The truth is that the longer we do not forgive a person, the more we become just like that person. Forgiveness is for your sake. You need to forgive in order to receive your inheritance from God.  Forgiveness is reciprocal.  You forgive so that you can be forgiven in return. Quick forgiveness protects us from being injured further. All of us have been injured so quick forgiveness is very necessary to heal us. It can prevent permanent scars.

Holding onto resentment is like holding a piece of paper that someone has lit on fire. You can blame the person that lit it all you want but you will still get more and more burned the longer you hold that burning paper.  So let it go. If you quickly forgive, God will release your inheritance to you, and that forgiveness will protect and heal you.

As it is written, “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions” (Mark 11:25). If you find that you cannot forgive, ask yourself, “How much forgiveness do I need?”

2. SECOND STAGE: PRAY FOR THEM, EARLY ON.

As the Bible says, “… pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:28). Over the years we find that our prayers change. The first year we might pray for our wonderful husband.  The second year we might pray that he become a better husband. The third year we might pray that his eyes be plucked out! But God says that prayer is reciprocal. If we pray for something good for the other person then God will be reciprocal in healing us. As it is written, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed” (James 5:16).

Our prayer should not be based on feelings but on faith. Praying for others that have hurt us will help us heal. Bitterness is like drinking poison and then waiting for the other person to die! Remember, unforgiveness is also reciprocal.

3. THIRD AND GREATEST STAGE: BLESS THEM.

While this 3^rd stage is not easy, it can be done. Just keep in mind that we did not deserve forgiveness and redemption from Christ. We have to learn to live intentionally so that we are “… not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (1 Pet.3:9). We have to give blessings in order to get blessings from God. We need to bless others even when we receive hurt from those people.  That is intentional blessing and living. We need to walk by faith not by feelings or sight.

So what if you feel that the other person does not deserve your blessing?

·        THE BLESSINGS IS ABOUT OUR FAITH NOT OUR FEELINGS.

God knows how to bless.  Do not worry about that. Let God decide how to use your blessing. Luke writes, “Whatever house you enter, first say, ‘Peace be to this house.’ If a man of peace is there, your peace will rest on him; but if not, it will return to you” (Luke 10:5-6). This means that if you bless someone deserving then God will work wonders with that blessing. But if that person is undeserving, then that blessing will return to you! So give the biggest blessing you can to everyone and you will also be blessed from God.

Blessings follow an intentional life. Live by what you know, no longer by how you feel. Christians must live an Intentional Life. The first stage of an Intentional Life is quick forgiveness.  The 2^nd is to pray for those that hurt you, early on. The third and greatest stage is to bless them. The Blessings is about our faith not about our feelings so do not worry whether they deserve it or not…God knows!

DISCUSSION SUGGESTIONS

1.      Why should you live an intentional life even when you do not feel like it?

2.      Why not follow your heart all the time?

3.      What blessings have followed your intentional life?

4.      What blessings are you still waiting for?

5.      Who have you not forgiven and why?

6.      How has your unforgiveness burned you?

7.      What do you pray for someone that has hurt you?