Pastor Wayne Cordeiro
October 19, 2003 - W0342

"Jesus said to her, ëI am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?í" (John 11:25-26).

God knew we would face storms in our life. And Heís given us instructions and examples for how to navigate these storms. God knows we will be more vulnerable at these times than any other times in our lives. Our emotions will run rampant and like a riptide, can pull us into the dark sea of confusion with convoluted colliding emotions that wonít make sense. At first there will be shock, then sorrow, anger, worry, bitterness, blame, hopelessness, loneliness, and self-pity. And all this before thereís any glimmer of resilience...

So the Bible gives us some simple navigational points and principles for us to follow when a loved one dies so that our emotions wonít cause us to lose hope. "it is better to go to a house of mourning than a house of feasting because that is the end of every man and the living take it to heart." (Ecc. 7:2)

In other words, we can find more lessons for living at funerals and memorial services than at a party because it is then that we realize that life is short. So what lessons are there for us during this often-confusing time? Here are three ìlessons for livingî that we can learn when facing this painful test. First, we come face-to-face with the fact that...

1.      OUR LIFE ON EARTH IS BRIEF.

"A time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot

what is planted" (Eccl. 3:2). In other words, life is short.

Right now we are traveling at 66,000 mph. This is how fast this earth is going through space. We are moving, right now, faster than the spin cycle on our washing machine. Life happens so fast that in the Bible, Job tells us that our life is a vapor. And the psalmist says, "We have finished our years like a sigh" (Ps. 90:9)

Every time a loved one dies there is a lesson for the living, to say, "Wait a minute! Our life is very brief!" In 40-50 years most of us will be gone. So remember God did not make us for this world. Our home is in eternity.

Then what is eternity like in comparison to this life? If I were to take a cable and shoot it out around this globe and if I were to take a pen and make a scratch in the cable, maybe 1/64th of and inch... thatís about how long our life is here on this earth in comparison to eternity. Many people think thatís all they have. So they cling to the ìscratchî. They save, love, and try to stretch the ìscratchî. So they live ìscratch lives, scratch dreams, and have scratch hopesî.

But God so loved us that He gave His only begotten Son so that whoever believes in Him should not perish on the ìscratchî, but have ETERNAL life. Our life is very brief and we must realize that weÖ

?        WE HAVE ONE MAIN ASSIGNMENT.

The Bible talks about many things, but here is the one thing we shouldnít miss: "...these have been written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name." (John 20:31)  Nothing is more important than this one main assignment. Our lives have been given to us to make a decision about Jesus Christ. "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?" (Mark 8:36)  We must get this settled because this is what gives us hope beyond this life.  There is no other hope beyond the grave.

I had a friend is college who worked hard on a paper he turned in. When he got it back the professorís comments read, "great research, great writing, great illustrations, ëFí: WRONG ASSIGNMENT!" We donít want to make this same mistake!

For that reason, all we need to do is say, "I believe that You are the resurrection and the life, and I believe in You, and trust that I will never die." The Lord is not demanding! Heís waiting for our partnership with Him, a genuine heart cry that says, "yes, Lord, I believe." And He says, "Good, I want your heart, not a document signed under duress." He didnít come to bring another religion, He came to repair and restore a broken relationship so that we are able to walk with the Lord together into eternity, that which He purchased for you and for me.

Q1. The loss of a loved one is the most painful thing we face in this life. Perhaps this message is difficult for you. Can you think of any ëlessons for livingí that the Lord revealed to you during a time of loss? Were you able to turn to Jesus for hope?

Q2. Have you completed your main assignment? Have you ever considered that this is the PURPOSE for your life?

We know life is brief and that we have a single assignment. Now we can embrace another ìlife lesson for the living". Although it is difficult to accept when a loved one dies, we learn thatÖ

2.      WEíRE NOT IMMUNE FROM THE WORLDíS SINS AND  WE DONíT CONTROL EVERY EVENT.

If we break the law of motion and a car crashes and someone dies there are consequences. There are physical laws and spiritual laws. And we have temporal bodies while here on this earth. We are eternal beings in temporal bodies.

"...you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor

that appears for a little while and then vanishes away." (James 4:14) The Bible is clear; we cannot be in control of every event! Remember the laws of this earth controlled Jesus Himself. He was only, 33 years old when He was murdered. However, the good news is that His death didnít thwart Godís plan. And it is because we cannot be in control of lifeís events that we must be under the covering of the One who IS IN CONTROL.

And when a tragedy occurs itís all right toÖ

?        WRESTLE, BUT NEVER BLAME GOD.

We will have colliding emotions, but donít make conclusions about God at this time. Remember Job? He decided that he would serve God. Even though tragedy overwhelmed him, his response was to rise, tear his coat, fall to the ground and worship the Lord. Yes, he wrestled with all of it, but he did not blame God. Instead, he grieved with hope. And though his wife had a different perspective and encouraged him to curse God and die, Job said, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him. Nevertheless I will argue my ways

before Him" (Job 13:15). Essentially, Job said, he will not blame God, but will wrestle with his emotions.

We often wonder, "Why or why, God?" I remember a dear friend. He was serving God, but died at the age of 35. I wrestled with my emotions before God at that time. Then God spoke to me and said, "Wayne, do you think I make mistakes? Do you think that though evil takes place that I canít turn it for good one day? I know the beginning from the end. I know your friendís life and the best time to take him home. You might think itís premature, but you donít know the future. I see. I know. And because I love him so much Iím taking him home at this time. Youíll see him again in heaven. And one day, I will show you what would have happened if I didnít take him home. And when you see what would have taken place you will be so thankful that in my love I took him home at the perfect time. So donít be angry, but in faith be grateful. One day you will see why."

We must remember that everything God does He does out of LOVE. This is His character. Yes, there will be grief. And when we do grieve we need to know how to...

?        GRIEVE APPROPRIATELY ACCORDING TO GODíS WORD.

"Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust

their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right" (1 Pet 4:19).

He tells us that there is a way of suffering that is correct and a way this is not correct. If we are not careful, it is possible to turn our grief inward. Then we risk destroying ourselves with anger and despair. So in His love for us, God shows us the correct to grieve with hope. That way grief wonít destroy us. "But we do not want you to be uninformed about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope" (1 Thess. 4:13). Donít grieve without hope!

Incorrect ways of grieving arenít usually intentional. Itís important, though, to recognize when we might be harming ourselves in our grief. God desires our best and wants to show us how to grieve in ways that will restore and not harm us. Here are a few examples of inappropriate grief:

1. We go into inordinate grieving because we want to show people that we love this person more than anyone else. Remember that the amount of grief doesnít indicate how much you love a person. This is not an appropriate way to express love.

2. We grieve as a way of punishing ourselves when we feel that our relationship with the loved one should have been better. We grieve to assuage the guilt we feel over having missed opportunities while the loved one was living.

3. We use the loss of a loved one as an excuse to give up on life. This is dangerous. Donít use a death to validate your desire to give up and become a victim. Wouldnít your loved one want for you to use your life to bless your children, grandchildren, and to serve God and His people?

Jesus has taken our grief with Him on the cross in order that we can grieve with hope. We can give Jesus our grief because He understands. And Jesus has risen from the dead to give us purpose, hope, and understanding that we will see our loved ones in eternity. We can trust God according to His character, because when we are out of control He never is! And we know that He is loving and is able to take our most tragic circumstances and turn them for our good and His glory.

Q3. Have you ever considered that Jesus was not immune from the world's sins? does this help you let go and trust God?

Q4.Why is it so easy to blame God when tragedy strikes? Can you see that the enemy uses our vulnerability to discredit Godís character? Or that the enemy uses our vulnerability to sow lies into our minds that rob us of our hope?

Since our life on earth is brief and we have only one main assignment, we must remember that we are not in control of life. And though we may wrestle and question God about our circumstance, we must never blame Him. Instead, we must focus on Godís character and grieve according to His word. And finally, keep in mind that when a loved one diesÖ

3.      GOD IS WORTHY TO BE TRUSTED.

When a loved one dies we must embrace the situation through the perspective of Godís character and not the tragedy or our emotions. This can be especially difficult when children die. So remember that children have not come to an age of accountability. In fact, Godís mercy brings them right home. Perhaps a person has a mental disability. We know that God never judges inability, incapacity, or ignorance. He judges rebellion and rejection from a clear mind.

So what do we do when someone we know dies and we donít know where they were with the Lord? Now this might sound like ëheresyí to some of you. So please hear me all the way through! Know this: God does not send anyone to hell. Why? Itís because God did not prepare hell for people! "Then He will also say to those on His left, ëDepart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels" (Matt. 25:41).

This is clear that hell was prepared for the devil and his angels. God prepared heaven for people! People only go to hell when they choose to go there by rejecting Christ and refusing to believe all the way to the grave. It is so important to remember.

"There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?" (James 4:12). There is only one person who can judge whether a person goes to heaven or hell. We cannot decide a personís eternal fate. We donít know that personís heart or what that person uttered with their last breath. When I think of those who die after living as though they donít know Christ I remind myself that the person will be standing before the most loving, most just, most merciful Person in the entire universe.

"...Thou, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abundant in loving kindness and truth" (Ps. 86:15). So this gives me hope and I can trust Godís character and know that God loves my loved one more than I can imagine.

Q6. Have you ever thought that God made hell for mankind? How do you feel about God now, knowing that in His love He gives everyone the freedom to choose their eternal destiny? And that He has provided a way for everyone to live eternally with Him in heaven?

Q7. Is it comforting to consider that the God of Psalm 86:15 will be the Judge of our lives? And the lives of the ones we are concerned died without knowing Him? How does this make it easier to grieve their death?

Q8. Can you release your loved one into Godís care and trust the loving heart of Jesus to do what is just and merciful?

All of us will face this kind of loss and grief. Be assured that our Father embraces us in our pain and grief and offers us the gift of hope. Heís given us a future beyond the grave. In fact, Jesus experienced loss and the feelings of loss. Therefore, He grieves with us. And because of Jesus we donít have to grieve without hope. He gives us the opportunity to learn life lessons during our sorrow so that we can complete our assignment. Remember that life is brief! So be sure that you get your main assignment done. Remember that you arenít immune from the worldís sins and canít control every event. So entrust yourself early to the One who does. And remember this: thereís NO ONE more worthy to be trusted than the Lord. There is no one more merciful and loving than He. And remember, one day you will see Him face-to-face and then all of your questions will be answered. You will see how loving and true God has been to His heart of love towards those of us who are living on the ëscratchí of eternity.

Once again, say mahalo to our faithful volunteer writer, Cynthia Whitehouse for preparing this weekís summary. Good job!