Pastor Wayne Cordeiro
December 1, 2002 - W0248

We live in a crowded, lonely world desperate for friends. Today we want to talk about what it means to be a Godly friend. Especially during this season, when we are giving gifts, letís give the gift of friendship. The best way to find good friends is to start by being one. What are the qualities of a Godly friend?

TWO QUALITIES OF A GODLY FRIEND

The first quality of someone who is a Godly friend is:

1.      ONE WHO IS FIRST A FRIEND WITH GOD.

Someone who is a friend with God will put you in front of God because they know God. When there is trouble in your life, then their advice, prayers and suggestions will usher you to God like these men did for their paralyzed friend because they know God. ìAnd behold, some men were carrying on a bed a man who was paralyzedÖ And not finding any way to bring him in because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and let him down through the tiles with his stretcher, right in the center, in front of Jesusî (Luke 5:18-19).

Someone who is a friend with God will be growing in favor with God and man. Have as your friend, not just someone who attends the same church but someone who has favor with God. These are not necessarily the same. There is a big difference between someone who has had an experience with God sometime in the past, says all the Christian clichÈs or wears a huge pendant in the shape of a cross and someone who has favor with God.

One of the most important decisions you will make in your life will be in choosing friends. ìHe who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools suffers harmî (Pr. 13:20). ìBe not deceived, bad company corrupts good moralsî (1 Cor. 15:53). Be sure you choose your friends wisely.

Q1: What are some of the character qualities of someone who is a friend of God?

A friend of God has a heart that believes in, trusts in, relies upon and depends completely upon God. Their heart is one with Godís commands and with Godís heart. The Bible says God calls that righteous and He calls that person ìa friendî: ìÖAnd Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness, and he was called the friend of Godî (Jas. 2:23).

Q2: What does it mean to be a friend of God?

?        A friend of God maintains a trustworthy heart. 

If your friendís heart isnít to believe in God, then you wonít be able to trust their heart. If they donít believe in God, they will give you bad advice that will cause you to compromise. They will tell you that you donít need anyone else telling you what is right or wrong, that you should be able to decide for yourself and that you donít need God to tell you what is right and wrong. ìDo you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of Godî (Jas. 4:4).

You want a friend that trusts Godís Word and ushers you to Jesus. You want someone that when you are paralyzed, they will say ìGet on this stretcherî and they will take you to the King. Those are the kind of hearts that you want to trust. A Godly friend is someone who loves having a pure heart. ìHe who loves purity of heart and whose speech is gracious, the king is his friendî (Pr. 22:11). 

Q3: Trust is the foundation of wonderful relationships. How would you rate yourself in the area of trustworthiness? How would you rate your friends?

Q4: How can you encourage trustworthiness in yourself and in your friends?

A lot of times friends begin with activities they share in commonñsame class, same sport, same neighborhood, etc. When these commonalities go away, oftentimes friendships fade. The best kinds of friends are not sustained by performance or affinity, the deepest friendships are those whoÖ

• Make friendships a choice. 

This is the kind of love God has for you and me. He chose us to be His friends. He gives us the gift of friendship by choice. And this is the same type of friendship we get to extend to others.

How often we see friends quickly become foes. Conflict sets in that is too difficult to resolve and before they know it, they sacrifice a beautiful friendship because they both approach the problem as foes. Approach conflict as a friend and things will be so much easier. Resolving problems is no big deal when there is true friendship. ìFaithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemyî (Pr. 27:6). When you give each person a new starting point as a gift of friendship, you will be surprised. It will be one of the best gifts you will give this year!

Q5: Identify several people to whom you will give a new starting point of friendship this holiday season. How can you start today?

Another wonderful quality in a Godly friend is one who:

2.     LOOKS FOR AND ENCOURAGES POTENTIAL.

In everyoneís heart is a dream of what they can be for Godña dream of what their life can amount to one day. But it is covered over by the rubble of past mistakes, immaturities, character flaws and unbelief in their own self. We need friends that will come in say, ìNo, you have huge potential; in fact, God-sized potential!î And then believe that potential, and Godís best out of you!

Jesus did that in Luke 5:19-20: ìThey let him down through the tiles with his stretcher, right in the center, in front of Jesus. And seeing their faith, He said, ëFriend, your sins are forgiven you.íî

Jesus saw their faithñnothing else. Instead of seeing the rubble caused by breaking the roof and the stupidity of breaking a roof that was not their own, He only saw their faith. What a friend! What a friend we have in Jesus. All our sins and griefs to bear. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer. Let us be that kind of person, just like Jesus. Have that kind of starting point of ìfriend.î

Let our eyes look beyond the awkwardness and faults and see potential. We need those kinds of friends! I call them ìDream Releasersî: people that can release the dreams God imprinted into the chambers of your heart. Maybe those God-designed dreams have been somehow imprisoned by the rubble of condemnation, past mistakes, or are simply hidden behind years of ìlifeî or raw potential yet undeveloped. But theyíre there! And a Godly friend will help you to believe it and then unveil them.

Q6: Who was your ìDream Releaserî? How did this person help you to identify and live Godís dreams for your best life?

Q7: Who will you be a Dream Releaser to? How can you begin to encourage this person to Godís best for their lives?

As we begin a season of giving, letís begin with one of the most precious gifts we can giveóthe gift of friendship. The art of being a Godly friend could make all the difference in the world to someone, why not extend that gift even today?

Last Note: Pastor Wayneís newest book, ìThe Dream Releaserî is available, fresh off the press. As you seek to release your own dreams and the dreams of others, this may be an invaluable resource! Call Matt at Resources, (808) 842.4242 ext. 604 or ext. 606. Be blessed!

Mahalo a nui loa to our summary writer, Terry Sawyer. As you move to Godís next city for you, may He continue to release your dreams! And if YOU would like to join our summary team, we now have 2 openings. Pls. contact Dawn @ 842.4242 ext. 410 or dawn@eNewhope.org.