Pastor Wayne Cordeiro
July 21, 2002 - W0229

This was the last prayer of Jesus before He died, and He dedicated it to our unity. He asked God to make us one because He understood a critical conceptóthat the credibility of the Gospel would be seen in our ability to have healthy relationships. In the worldís eyes how we treat our ìone anothersîóour families, friends, and the people around usódetermines whether theyíll believe in Jesus! Our ìone anothersî is so important, it determines othersí eternities!

The Cross is a powerful symbol of Jesus reestablishing relationship between fallen man and God. It was also at the Cross that Jesus linked His mother (who was about to be without a son) with one of His disciples: ìWhen Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, ëWoman, behold, your son!í Then He said to the disciple, ëBehold, your mother!í And from that hour the disciple took her into his own household.î (Jn. 19:26-27) All this proves that down to the very last, Jesus was always about relationships. That was His one and only assignment, caught in the symbol of the Cross. And in that symbol we find three gifts to help us in our relationships with our own ìone anothers.î

What the Cross Brings

The first gift that the Cross brings is it...

1.      LINKS US TO ONE ANOTHER.

In the book of Isaiah thereís a sobering scripture about the tribes of Judah, Ephraim and Manasseh, the sons of Joseph. As time went by, theyíre children (who were first cousins) started fighting terribly: ìThe people are like fuel for fire; no man spares his brother. They slice off what is on the right hand but still are hungry; so they eat what is on the left hand, but they are not satisfied; each of them eats the flesh of his own arm. Manasseh devours Ephraim, and Ephraim Manasseh, and together they are against JudahÖî (Is. 9:19-21)

Isaiah is saying that when weíre against each other, weíre against ourselves, eating the flesh of our own arms. Yet the Bible says we are all the same body: ìBut now there are many members, but one body. Now you are Christís body, and individually members of itî (1 Cor. 12:20,27). When we hurt others, we actually hurt ourselves.

Itís so easy to forget this and, by habit, we allow broken relationships to continue deteriorating. God says that the Cross links us together intimately. As Christ-followers we need to remind ourselves of this before attacking others. Before flying off the handle at someone, remember that this person is linked to you by the Cross. You are now ìone bodyÖ Christís body.î

ìAs parts of the same body, our anger against each other has disappeared, for both of us have been reconciled to God. And so the feud ended at last at the cross.î (Eph. 2:16 TLB)

When both parties in a relationship (like a wife and husband, or two siblings) draw closer to God, they also start to get closer to one another. Healing can begin because theyíre both reconciled to God. This is why God calls us to be reconciled to Himself: itís the key to being reconciled with one another.

Question 1: How has your relationship with Jesus changed your relationships with others?

ìAnd the King will answer and say to them, ëTruly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.íî (Mt. 25:40; also Is. 9:19-20)

What this is saying is this: I love God only as much as the one I love the least. God knows thereís going to be broken relationships, but we need to love them as much as we love God. No, youíre not leaving yourself open to abusive relationships. In those situations, seek to love by forgiving and releasing. However, a healthy guideline in loving our ìone anothersî is this, ìI love Jesus only as much as I love the least.î

Question 2: Who are ìthe leastî in your life? How can you express love in a practical way with these people? Why should you?

The first gift of the Cross is that it links us to one another. This is this important to God because He sent the Good News through us and in the eyes of others, the credibility of the Cross rests in the way that we treat our ìone anothers.î So if we want to be part of Godís plan, we must think twice about how we can develop healthy relationships. And, if theyíre broken, how we can restore them in a way that honors God. Well, if youíre anything like me, youíll say I need some help on this one. This is why He has given us a second precious gift on the CrossÖ

2) POWER TO FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER.

Weíve been taught by our world to retaliate. If someone hurts you then get them back, protect yourself and always be on the look out for number one. Godís Word has a much different perspective: ìBe kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven youî (Eph. 4:32).

When Jesus forgave us from the Cross, it was His responsibility, His role and His gift to us. Forgiveness is always extended on Christís part, but is not always accepted on ours. Only some accept His forgiveness. The same will be true in our lives.

There will be times where relationships will be broken, and weíll extend forgiveness but then the ball is in their court. Forgiveness doesnít guarantee that the relationship will be repaired; itís a gift to your own heart to keep you free from the hurt. That way the doors are always open for reconciliation to take place. ìAs far as it depends on you be at peace with all men.î (Ro. 12:18)

So what is forgiveness? Forgiveness is simply saying thereís an error that took place but I have cast my vote in such a way that I am open to restoration. At that point God is allowed to provide the power for healing to take place. Thatís hard, but Heíll help make it happen.

When I forgive my wife, my son or anyone Iím in relationship with, what Iím saying is ìYou are more important than your hurtful action, your error, your immaturity or my bad perception of what you did.î Relationships are more important than any hurts that take place: errors, immaturity or character flaws. You see Jesus didnít just die for character flaws, He died for a person. And even if that person hurt me, I still have to remember that Jesus died for that person. Therefore, I issue forgiveness.

Not only does forgiveness keep your heart free, it also helps you maintain relationships. You see, relationships are not low maintenance, theyíre actually very high maintenance. Relationships are living entities, not something that is dead. And because itís a living entity, it requires a lot of maintenance to be healthy.

For example, silk flowers require very low maintenance because theyíre not alive. Not so with real plants. You have to water them, fertilize, weed and make sure the bugs stay away. Youíve got to take care of them or they die. The same is true with stuffed animalsóthey just sit and stare at you. This is nice but if you want a live animal as a pet, itíll require a lot more maintenance. Youíll have to feed it, wash it, and clean up its waste because itís alive. Thatís the cost of the relationship but because thereís a joy of fellowship, most of us are willing to pay the price.

This is the same with human relations: If we want them to stay vibrant, they require high maintenance. We need to maintain them and even take care of problems that come about (a lot like waste) because itís a live entity. If you want to make a living thing die, just stop maintaining it. And forgiveness is the key to keeping relationships alive.

As soon as you stop forgiving, watch how fast relationships die. And donít wait until a big trauma happens in your relationship to issue forgiveness. This is so critical, because people will have inadvertent comments that will come by you and though itís half a joke, they donít realize thereís a razor blade edge on that joke and that you got cut. Forgive right away, because if youíre not quick to forgive, youíll loose two or three nights of sleep over it. Ask God for the power to forgive, and then issue it quickly, otherwise that relationship will start to die. Forgiveness is absolutely critical.

Question 3: After receiving Christ, has it been easier for you to forgive others?

Forgiveness doesnít mean being blind to what others say and do, and it doesnít mean tolerating immaturity. Love is neither weak nor is it foolish. Yet we must forgive, as the Cross dictates, whether weíre a parent, leader or overseer. Hereís a guideline to help us to do this:

?        Correcting: Exchanging Error & Replacing It with Value.

Catch this principle and it will transform your child-rearing, marriage, and future relationships. ìBrethren, even if a man is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness...î (Gal. 6:1) If we are spiritual, we must allow restoration. This is what the Cross is all about.

The principle of the Cross is thisóeach time you remove error, replace it with value. Each time you correct someone, you take away sin. What youíre also doing is pulling out a character flaw and (because weíre human) youíve also taken some of their self-esteem. The key to remember is that when you remove the flaw, replace it with value.

Itís kind of like those high-tech robberies (most of us only experience this through Hollywoodís movies). Youíll watch a thief suspended over a precious diamond, realizing that the security system is triggered so that any shift in the weight of the gem will cause lasers, alarms and pitbulls to go off. So the wise thief slowly replaces the weight of the gem with an equally-weighted bag of sand. 

The same is true with correction. I need to bring correction but also remember to quickly replace it with a value for that person. Though you bring correction, be sure to end that discussion by reassuring a value for your relationship with that person. Remember, youíre not as concerned with their character flaw as youíre eternally concerned with your relationship.

We must value people and appreciate them firstófor trying, for their heart, and for their commitmentóbecause they did the best they could with what they knew. After awhile when are accountable and are faithful to also restore one another, we begin to understand the principle of the Cross. And its then that we cherish our ìone anothers.î Jesus did this with Peter. After Peter had betrayed Jesus and denied Him three times, Jesus asked him, ìDo you love me?î He confronted and restored Peter, and then sent him to tend and feed His sheep. Jesus gave Peter something of value. And when that confrontation was done wouldnít you agree that Peter felt restored and highly valued?

Question 4: How are your correcting skills? Are you able to confront in love and then follow through by reassuring relationship? Where might you need some improvement?

God says that the Cross is where we receive the power to forgive and restore people. The final gift is this:

3) THE CROSS BRINGS THE COMPLETION OF ONE ANOTHER.

ìWhen Jesus therefore had received the sour wine, He said, ëIt is finished!í And He bowed His head, and gave up His spirit.î (Jn. 19:30)

ìIn Him you have been made complete....î (Col. 2:10)

Completion, wholeness or salvation in Christ is not found in your performance or how holy you are. It is found in His performance and how Holy He is. The very last words of Jesus on the Cross were ìIt is finished.î His assignment was done and our sin was paid in full. Christ has won the battle against our inabilities and we are made complete. Salvation is done and the choice is yours, will you receive what He has done? There are responsibilities that we have yet to complete with our ìone anothers.î Investing in and maintaining healthy relationships is a must in order for the world to receive the ìGood Newsî of Jesus Christ. Letís choose to be the ìone anothersî of the Cross!

Final Question: Which point most impacted you & how will you be different because of it?

Summarized by Doreen RabainoÖa faithful beginner. Mahalo!