New Hope Notes

The Secret Of Fruitful Relationships

Pastor Wayne Cordeiro
July 14, 2002 - W0228

What makes a life fruitful? We live in a society where ìfruitfulî is equated with more, more, more! What happens is our lives begin to fill with extra activities, commitments and responsibilitiesÖ all in an effort to achieve more. The unfortunate result is we start to squeeze out our margins. And margins are where friendships are built and relationships grow.

Question 1: Are there healthy margins in your life for relationship-building? Why/why not?

Having more isnít always better, in fact the Bible tells us quite the contrary: ìI am the true vine and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it, that it may bear more fruitî (Jn. 15:1-2 emphasis added). God actually prunes to bear more fruit. That means cutting back on activities, commitments and responsibilities, not necessarily ìmaximizingî schedules. What is the key to having fruitful lives?

 

THE SECRET TO FRUITFULNESS:

  • Not adding, but wisely pruning.

ìBy this is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciplesî (Jn. 15:8). God wants us to bear fruit; it proves weíre His disciples. But fruit will not be possible until there is balanceóbetween ìmaximizingî a schedule and fulfilling Godís call. To ìbear much fruitî we must prune and not just add.  

  • Pruning will also shape your life.

ìYou are already clean because of the Word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in youÖî (Jn. 15:3,4a). Pruning shapes your life because you conform to the vision God has for you (which is the best vision!). Your goal in life is not to prune blindlyóhacking everything to a stub. Rather, prune according to Godís Word in order to ìbear much fruitî! Then your fruit will not only sustain you, youíll also be able to give it away and sustain others.

Some say theyíre so busy that they have to cut ministry, helping others, and going to church. However, thatís not what you want to prune. Thatís actually where you want to invest yourself because thatís eternally fruitful. Instead, prune activities that are not giving life.  

I once visited a bonsai exhibition in Hilo. For 20 minutes, I watched as a ìbonsai expertî studied the little tree from every angle. He would slowly turn and inspect, turn and inspect. This went on and on and I started wondering what all the hype was about. Suddenly, he started snipping furiously with double-fisted shear action. Within a matter of minutes, the most beautiful symmetric bonsai masterpiece emerged. Everyone erupted in ecstatic applause, stood to congratulate him and finally, they all left. All except me. I sat there still in awe. Finally I got up and asked him why he had stared at the tree for so long. His answer: ìYou must find the front and back of the tree, Grasshopper!î

He went on to teach me that every tree has its own beauty hidden within. If you canít see which branch is strong, or what the treeís inherent, God-given shape is, then you will prune blindly. Youíll kill the tree. But once you find the vision of beauty in that tree, then (and only then) do you prune to that vision.  

How do you know what to prune to? The Bible says, ìYou are clean because of the Word which I have spoken to you.î Thatís why daily devotions are so important. God promises that ìHis Wordî will show you the beauty of your life, family and relationships. Little by little you will begin to recognize what is and is not important. Pretty soon you will see the shape thatís on the insideóGodís vision for your life. Godís Word will reveal that to you.

Question 2: In your life, what areas are most fruitful? Unfruitful? Are there any areas that need pruning? How can you begin to do so?

Question 3: When there are things you must prune from your life, do you tend to do so with ease or is there a bit of a struggle? Why or why not? 

Itís so important to prune our lives and shape them correctly according to Godís Word. What specific items can we prune? The Bible gives us three key items to start with in this lesson. The first is to prune:

 

1.      1. Dead Works

ìEvery branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes awayÖî (Jn. 15:2a)

What are dead works? Well, think of yourself in this way: Youíre a tree with 100 branches; only twenty-five are bearing fruit. You have to find the 75 ìdeadî branches, those that arenít bearing fruit. If you keep them in your life, they will sap your strength. How? Because they consume vital nutrients just to stay alive, stealing nutrients that should go to fruit-bearing branches.  

Dead works include any activities that require time but donít bear any positive results. For example, ìdead workî activities include excessive television-watching, movie-going, or video game playing. These donít help you any, in fact they distract you from fruit-bearing activities.

You see, the devil knows he canít keep you from serving God. So instead he keeps you busy with dead works so you still donít bear fruit. This is one his best tricks for keeping you ineffective as a Christian.  

Question 4: Are you being tricked into doing some ìdead worksî that keep you from serving God? What are they? Why have you allowed it to go on? 

The first step is to prune dead works from your life. Look for the branches that donít bear fruit and get rid of them. Thatís a must that you need to be willing to do yourselfÖ

v     The ability to correct yourself begins the season of maturity.

ìHumble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time.î (1 Pt. 5:6)

When you were a child, others had to discipline you: your parents, teachers, elders and so forth. As you grew older, you learned to discipline yourself so that you didnít need to be disciplined by others. Thatís the beginning of maturityówhen youíre able to correct and discipline yourself.

 That doesnít mean you no longer need to be corrected. For instance, some people complain that their parents are always telling them when to come home. The reason is that they havenít learned to do it on their own. Once they learn to make the decision for themselves, their parents wonít have to discipline them. Thatís an external support that becomes an internal maturity. Someone once said it this way: ìFreedom is based on strength within that gives you freedom without.î This freedom is gained by learning to discipline yourself.

Question 5: Honestly examine your life. Would you say that you have/do not have the ability to correct yourself? What do you think has helped you or hindered you? 

Pruning dead works from your life has to be a no-brainer and so thatís our first item to come under the blade. The next thing God wants you to prune isÖ 

      2. Lesser Dreams

ìÖand every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it, that it may bear more fruit.î (Jn. 15:2b)

You will have lesser dreams or dreams that have some measure of fruit, but are not going to be the best fruit in your life. The first 50 branches (remember that you are a tree) out of the hundred can be cut pretty fast because theyíre dry, dead branches. However, it gets tougher to cut the next 25 because there may be branches that have 2 fruits. These smaller fruits and lesser bearing branches are what we call ìlesser dreams.î

That branch bearing only 2 apples requires 10 gallons of sap to stay alive. On the other hand, if it were pruned, then that same 10 gallons of sap could go to a branch that is producing 20 apples. It doesnít mean that branch with 2 apples isnít important. It just means you need to decide where your time and energy will be utilized best. For example, though fishing was profitable for the fishermen, Jesus gave them a greater call. Then they traded in a lesser dream of fishing for the greater dream of becoming Jesusí disciples. 

There are some activities you need to prune because theyíre getting excessive. I recall a time that I became so obsessed with running that it took up too much of my time. I was running 10 miles every morning, training for marathons, reading running magazines and buying a lot of gear. Sure, it was fruitful for my health (some measure of validity), but God wasnít calling me to become a runner so I had to prune that back. I didnít eliminate it completely (I still exercise and run), but I did have to bring it down from being excessive. If you want to have a fruitful life, you will need to prune things that are excessive and do not fulfill Godís greater call.  

Question 6: Look at the many activities in your life that are fruitful. Would some of those be more fruitful if you were to prune other areas that are less fruitful?

Not only must you prune activities, but thoughts also. I remember when I used to get corrected and I would stew over that for days. I would be upset, lose sleep, and worry. Though some things need our concern and attention, sometimes we become obsessed and waste energy that could be used to produce better fruit. Watch what youíre investing your thought life in.  

There are also relationships that are not fruitful and we have to know when to cut it those. Otherwise, youíll have branches on your life that only exist, but it wonít bear the fruit that you can give to people for their health and life. Be fruitful because it says, ìBy this is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples

 

Pruning things like dead works and lesser dreams have to be no-brainers. Get those basics down so that you will automatically know what to prune without giving it a second thought. Then you can advance in your maturity. This will enable you to be prune the last item: 

 

3.      3. Habits of Sin

ìLet all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.î (Eph. 4:31)

When weíre used to doing things a certain way for so long, it becomes a habit. The same is true of sin, if we do it long enough it can become a ìhabit of sin.î You may not intentionally sin, but you have a habit of slandering, gossiping, or complaining because it gives you camaraderie with the buddies or your coworkers. It becomes a habit thatís hard to break.  

Catch yourself and stop that habit. It is so courageous when I hear someone begin to say something and just stops himself before sinning. There will be greater fruitfulness because heís learned to correct himself. God is calling us to be a people who are fruitful, understanding the importance of getting rid of sin.

The secret to fruitfulness is first to prune dead works, then lesser dreams, and finally sins of habit. As you read His Word, God will begin to show you the beauty of His plan for your life. He will start to prune to His vision for you, the person He designed you to be.  

And when you start pruning to Godís Word, the most beautiful lifeóone that is not only fruitful, but also reflects the Lordówill emerge right before your eyes.

Final Question: What most impacted you in this lesson & how will you change today because of it? 

Pls. thank our beautiful servant-hearted writer Rhonda Pang for this summary!